5th Column

Well, we all are champion weight-lifters
"Thaaththa," Bindu Udagedera said, "we seem to be finally doing well in sports…"
"Why do you say that?" Bindu's father Percy wanted to know.
"Why thaaththa," Bindu pointed out, "we have won a gold medal at the Commonwealth Games…"

"Ah, but that is in 'bara isileema' or weight lifting…" Percy said.
"So, what's wrong with that?" Bindu asked.
"But we should have won the gold medal in that sport many years ago…"
"How could you say that?" Bindu queried.

"Why, Bindu, look at the burdens we have been bearing all these years…"
"What burdens are those?" Bindu wanted to know.
"Well," Percy explained, "the burden of war, the burden of maintaining all our politicians, the burden of an election almost every year and of course the never ending burden of the cost of living…"

"But thaaththa," Bindu asked, "hasn't Mahinda maama settled the burden of the cost of living according to his 'Mahinda Chinathanaya'?"
"What makes you think that he has?" Percy asked.
"Why, he was supposed to increase everyone's salaries and everyone was supposed to live happily everafter…" Bindu said.

"Unfortunately, Bindu," Percy said, "this is Sri Lanka and things don't happen that way…"
"Why, what happened?" Bindu wanted to know.
"Well," Percy said, "there seems to be no agreement on how to increase salaries…"

"Why was that?"
"The trade unions are fighting with each other…"
"But thaaththa," Bindu was puzzled, "why should they fight if everyone's salary is being increased?"

"Ah," Percy said, "they are fighting because some people complained that others were getting more than them…"
"Now that is the real Sri Lankan style…" Bindu agreed.
"And, of course, Mahinda maama didn't know what to do…"
"Why is that, thaaththa?" Bindu asked.

"Why, Bindu, even these salary increases were arrived at after two years of discussions and everyone hoping there would be no more strikes over pay hikes, at least for some time…" Percy recalled.
"What happened then, thaaththa?"
"At first, Mahinda maama cancelled the circular increasing salaries…"
"And did that settle the issue?" Bindu queried.

"No, of course not; it only aggravated it with some unions going on strike asking him to implement the circular…"
"What happened after that, thaaththa?"
"At first, Mahinda maama asked for ten days to settle the issue and then the other unions went on strike asking him not to implement that circular…"
"And we are all going around in circles with strikes everywhere…" Bindu observed.

"And there is no salary increase for anybody in sight…" Percy declared.
"So, what happens now, thaaththa?"
"Well, Mahinda maama did the next best thing that any politician would do…" Percy said.
"And what is that?" Bindu asked.

"He just dismissed the previous people who did such a lot of work in deciding on the salary scales and appointed a new commission…"
"But wouldn't the new commission settle the issue?" Bindu wanted to know.
"Ah," Percy said, "Commissions only remind me of an old joke about them…"
"What is that, thaaththa?" Bindu asked.

"Why," Percy said, "they say that a commission is like a visit to the toilet; first there is a sitting, then there is a little deliberation, then some noise until you finally drop the matter…"
Bindu didn't disagree.

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