5th Column

Talking peace is not to please international peace brigade
My Dear Mahinda maama,
I thought I must write to you not only to wish you a happy new year but also to remind you of a few outstanding issues while you indulge in your kavum, kokis and kiribath in faraway Tangalle.

I know you decided, against the wishes of even Arthur C. Clarke, to turn back the clock yesterday but that is not something most Sri Lankans except perhaps astrologers and Buddhist monks worry about. Of course, there are those who say that this was done to spite Satellite, but you have already done enough about that, haven't you?

Mahinda maama, what was probably more important was the news that peace talks had been postponed by a few days. You would of course argue -- rather like Satellite -- that it is better late than never but most people are concerned that talking peace is of no use if Velu can do as he pleases and set off a few claymore mines, kill dozens of people and then send the ever smiling Thamilselvan to talk peace!

You did of course score a major diplomatic victory over the Tigers by getting them banned in Canada but it appears as if the ban has enraged Velu into action. Whatever the reason, we think it is important that negotiations are held from a position of strength rather than talking peace for the sake of pleasing the international peace brigade.

As you know, Mahinda maama, that was what happened when the Greens were in office and people voted you into power-at least in the South of the country, because they didn't vote at all in the North-precisely to avoid that.
There is the other little issue of who you would send to Geneva for round two. We saw Nimal -- whose grey hairs have suddenly turned a healthy black -- and Ferial in the fray but there was no sign of Rohitha, so we hope you have learnt from your mistakes, Mahinda maama. After all, these are matters of national importance, not tuition classes for one's off-spring or all-expenses-paid jaunts for the better half…

Besides all the fuss about Geneva, Mahinda maama, we also heard that they could only appoint you to an 'acting' post in your own party even though you are the head of the entire country. I don't think you should be too disappointed about that because we all know that you politicians are always acting and that it is the best actor who walks away with all the awards and rewards -- if you are in doubt about that, just ask Jeevan, will you?

Tell me, Mahinda maama, is there any truth about these rumours of a general election sometime in May? The local government polls showed that you still commanded popular support and no one could blame you if you called for a snap election, because you could then kill two birds with one stone -- divide the already divided Greens and encourage some more defections while also reducing the number of rathu sahodarayas in Parliament. You are giving that possibility some thought, aren't you, Mahinda maama?
Nevertheless, let us wish you a 'suba aluth avuruddak' but we hope that you will truly be able to say 'esema weva' by stopping the killings in the North and keeping the prices of essentials down in the South!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS-We saw a picture of you participating in some avurudu kreeda and trying to place an eye on an elephant. Needless to say, you were off the mark by quite a bit but it doesn't really matter, Mahinda maama because as far as the Greens are concerned these days, it is always a 'nonagathaya'!

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