Making a change to your lives

“Stress” is one of the buzz words in society today affecting people of all walks of life. Be it children or adults, stress is a common symptom found in everyone and especially in the corporate work place today. Nalini Ellawela, Hony. Director and one of the founders of Sri Lanka Sumithrayo presented an interesting and different perspective for dealing with stress at the October meeting of The Sunday Times Business Club at the Trans Asia Hotel.

“Stress is defined by many people in different ways,” said Ellawela be it in family, workplace, neighbourhood, on the road or in relationships. “We must not blame others, but we must change our life styles,” she said addressing an attentive audience of young business executives. However she also noted that good stress is needed for achievers since without this they won’t be able to achieve what they want to.

Every human being has primary feelings which can be categorized into three main feelings. They are Fear, Anger and sorrow. “Fear” is generally a must for survival, Ellawala said giving an example of how one would carefully cross the road without being knocked down by a vehicle. “Anger …on the other hand robs us of the joy of life and we must always learn to handle such feelings with care and the way to do it is to change the way we perceive things,” she said.

Ellawala was also joined by Dr. Manoj Fernando, Executive Director at Sumithrayo and Ms. Asela Abeywardene, Administrative Director at Sumithrayo. Speaking further to Business Club members, the trio also touched on “Anger” which is one of the most common causes of stress. “Can anyone else be blamed for your foolish response when you are angry,” Ellawala asked the audience making everyone realize that in order to avoid stress and enjoy life, ‘we ourselves have to make a change in our lives to address it rather than expecting others to do it for you.’

Alcohol and tobacco appear to be one of the remedies that people turn to in today’s world to deal with stressful situations. It was pointed out that both these substances only allow us to temporarily put on a “mask” and that in most instances the stressful condition can get worse. Society and media of today influence this type of behaviour and Ellawala asked the audience “Do we need a chemical substance to make us feel good” initiating thoughts amongst the members of the club.

It was also pointed out that awareness and mindfulness of one’s situation can improve the way we react to situations and can bring about a great change in ourselves. Ellawela said “Always be aware, that you are the master of your ship” reminding yet again that managing our stress levels and exposing ourselves in such situations is totally within our control.

The speakers from Sumithrayo also went on to indicate that people always will have to live with people, therefore how we react to situations and deal with them will determine the levels of stress that we have. It was also pointed out that social positions, worldly goods, etc… which we all perceive as sources of happiness does not bring actual happiness to us and instead these very things can be sources of increased stress levels for ourselves.

Ellawala also pointed out that “We are never harassed by people. It’s how we handle our feelings and how we perceive them that matters” in dealing with and reducing stress. She also went on to say that “Till death problems will persist and will exist. It depends on each individual to handle such problems, keeping in mind that only we can help ourselves.”

Following the presentation, an interactive discussion took place between an interested audience and the team from Sumithrayo. The discussion revolved around many issues facing society today and also in business environments. From the discussions, one point was very evidently clear. It is how we perceive and react to people and situations that cause “bad” stress and it can only be handled by ourselves – by making a change.

The meeting was held at the Trans Asia Hotel, the host of the club, and was co-sponsored by Lion Brewery Ltd.
(The writer is an executive committee member of the Business Club. Email – ajit@mackinnonsamex.com)