5th Column

"Thaaththa", Bindu Udagedera asked, "why is everyone making such a fuss about the Cabinet?"
"Why, Bindu," Bindu's father Percy said, "what everyone is worried about is the size of the Cabinet..."
"But thaaththa," Bindu said, "if we have more ministers, they will do more work and it will be good for the country..."
"But Bindu," Percy pointed out, "what everyone says is that so many ministers will cost a lot of money which a country such as ours cannot afford..."
"Does it really cost such a lot of money, thaaththa?" Bindu wanted to know.
"I think it does..." Percy declared.
"Why do you say that, thaaththa?"
"Why, let us calculate, Bindu," Percy suggested, "how many ministers are there now?"
"As of last night there were fifty-one ministers, thirty-three non-cabinet ministers and twenty deputy ministers" Bindu said, "but the numbers seem to keep changing everyday because who knows who will be kicked out of the jumbo cabinet next..."
"Anyway, that is a total of a hundred and four ministers of whatever type..." Percy calculated.
"But thaaththa," Bindu argued, "they say even ministers are being paid only a Parliamentarian's salary..."
"That maybe true," Percy pointed out, "but then, there is only a slight difference between the salaries of a minister and an MP..."
"But thaaththa, even then, why should a hundred and four ministers cost such a lot of money?" Bindu was still puzzled.
"Well, Bindu," Percy explained, "while each minister himself will not cost a very large amount of money don't forget that he will have a staff of secretaries, assistants and advisors who all need to be paid..."
"That is true," Bindu agreed.
"Then," Percy observed, "don't forget that each minister will also need special security, especially when some of them are receiving threatening calls saying they will be hung up on lamp posts..."
"Ah," Percy said, "that maybe why Mahinda maama removed those ministers who were at risk of being hung up on lamp posts..."
"Or he may have thought that it was not necessary to have a minister just to gaze at the maidens at Sigiriya..." Bindu suggested.
"And then," Percy reminded, "don't forget that each minister will also need several vehicles and telephones and will need to maintain an office..."
"So, thaaththa," Bindu wondered, "how much will all this cost, then?"
"Well," Percy calculated, "considering that each minister will have secretaries, assistants, advisors and will also need offices, vehicles and telephones, he or she should cost at least a million rupees a month and that is a very conservative estimate..."
"So, a hundred and four ministers will cost at least a hundred and four million rupees a month..." Bindu calculated.
"And that is not taking into account the expenses of Mahinda maama..." Percy pointed out.
"So, even without Mahinda maama's expenses, it will cost a hundred and four million rupees a month, just to maintain our ministers..." Bindu observed.
"Could you divide that amount by nineteen million, Bindu?" Percy queried.
"Why do you want it divided by nineteen million, thaaththa?" Bindu asked.
"Why, Bindu," Percy explained, "there are nineteen million people in our country..."
"Well," Bindu calculated again, "a hundred and four million rupees divided by nineteen million would amount to five rupees and forty seven cents..."
"What that means," Percy explained, "is that every man, woman and child in this country including you and me is contributing five rupees and forty seven cents every month to maintain our honourable ministers and that too is a very conservative estimate..."
"Then", Bindu said, "I don't think I want to contribute my five rupees and forty seven cents this month to maintain a Cabinet such as this..."
"Most of us don't," Percy said, "but don't worry too much about that..."
"Why do you say that, thaaththa?" Bindu was puzzled.
"If Mahinda maama continues to act in the same manner as he did on Friday, that cost will become even lesser quite soon..." Percy explained.
Bindu didn't quite know whether to be happy or sad about that.