What a day

On a good day, a really good day, I've always been tempted to mimic the father in the poem Jabberwocky with his cry "O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!" And it occurs to me now, that if the world were only a better place, there would in fact be a Jabberwocky day – filled with vorpal swords, frumious Bandersnatchs and Jabberwocks that come whiffling through the tulgey wood. But it isn't...and you and I will have to make do with Talk Like a Pirate Day, or even perhaps the International Day of Awesomeness. The choice is yours, and we can celebrate one or two or maybe even all. Even the most sceptical will have to admit that it would be just brillig to be in the thick of a No Pants Day.

Pretend to be a Time Traveller Day
Date: Tentatively scheduled for December 8.

Celebrate it by: Preparing to spend the whole day in costume and in character. There is one unbreakable rule, and this is it – you cannot actually tell anyone that you are, in fact, a time traveller. Stumped for ideas? The organisers offer you these three helpful options:

1) Utopian/cliché Future – Think Star Trek: bodysuits in brilliant colours, weird hairdos and strangely disturbing contact lenses. When in conversation use strange and exotic phrases. For example: "Have you penetrated the atmosphere lately?" "What spectrum will today's broadcast be in?"

2) Dystopian Future – Dress like a crazy person with armour. Black spray painted football pads, high tech visors, torn-up trench coats and maybe even some dirt here or there. The organisers offer some lines: Walk up to random people and say "What year is this?" and when they tell you, get quiet and then say "Then there's still time!" and run off. Alternately, you could stand in front of a statue (any statue, really), fall to your knees, and yell "NOOOOOO." Yet another option: Take some trinket with you (it can be anything), hand it to some stranger, along with a phone number and say "In thirty years dial this number. You'll know what to do after that." Then slip away.

3) The Past – Time Travel for beginners. Think Jane Eyre or Heathcliffe. Dress in period clothing – gowns, tights, lace and flounces – then head for the crowded area. Once there, stagger around, apparently amazed at everything. The organisers suggest attempting to carry on a conversation with a television for a while. Alternately, discover and become obsessed with one trivial aspect of technology, like automatic doors. Stay there for hours playing with it.

National High Five Day
Date: Third Thursday of April

Celebrate it by: High-fiving complete strangers everywhere, anywhere and at anytime. Even if they look frightening. Yes, even if they're carrying an alarmingly ferocious little dog. Yes, even if they're wearing puke green. And yes, even if they look like people-who-don't-normally-high-five. It's a celebrate unity in diversity thing.

Talk like a Pirate Day
Date: September 19
Celebrate it by: talking like a pirate! By the Powers! If this ain't fun, tha nothin' is me hearty.
Relax while you glean inspiration from literature ("Bring me one noggin of rum, now, won't you, matey."), make death threats, ("There! That's what I think of ye. Before an hour's out, I'll stove in your old block house like a rum puncheon. Laugh, by thunder, laugh! Before an hour's out, ye'll laugh upon the other side. Them that die'll be the lucky ones.") and punctuate the whole thing with frequent cries of "Ahoy!" "Yarrr" and "Shiver me timbers!" Musically inclined? Break into "Fifteen men on the dead man's chest -- Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!"

Interestingly, the holiday is of particular importance to Pastafarians (followers of the teachings of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster) as they consider pirates absolute divine beings and the original Pastafarians.

Buy Nothing Day
Date: November 24
Celebrate it by: buying nothing. Considered an informal day of protest against consumerism observed by social activists, participants in Buy Nothing Day refuse to purchase anything for 24 hours in a concentrated display of anti-consumerism. The event is intended to raise awareness of what some see as the wasteful consumption habits of First World countries.

The Day of the Ninja
Date: December 5
Celebrate it by: plaguing your co-workers with your ninja-ness or by wearing a ninja mask to a party, suggest the organisers. This event originally became famous when a bunch of French performers staged elaborate ninja poses in front of famous landmarks (such as the Eiffel Tower). The same day is also celebrated as International Creep Like a Ninja Day, Stalk Like a Ninja Day and Sneak Like a Ninja Day. Not feeling particularly friendly? Knock your boss out on the pretext of Kick Like a Ninja Day or ram another car out of your space with Park Like a Ninja Day.

Hobbit Day
Date: September 22
Celebrate it by: having a spectacular party with all the other Tolkien fans in your immediate vicinity. Hobbit Day is the birthday of Bilbo and Frodo Baggins – Bilbo was born in the year of 2890 and Frodo in the year of 2968 in the Third Age (1290 and 1368 respectively in Shire-Reckoning.) Another day to watch out for is March 25, celebrated internationally as the Fall of Sauron day. As of 2003 that day is known as Tolkien reading day.

No Pants Day
Date: The First Friday of May
Celebrate it by: not wearing any pants. "When large groups of people parade around in public without their pants, amazing things are bound to happen. At the very least, you'll take your drab, wretched life a little less seriously, at least for one day," say the organizers. The recommended No Pants Day attire is thick, appropriately modest boxer shorts. Other types of underwear, including bloomers, slips, briefs, and for the incurably conventional skirts, kilts and shorts work as well.

Towel Day
Date: May 25
Celebrate it by: carrying a towel around with you everywhere. The towel must be given prominence and is part of a tribute to the late, great Douglas Adams – the genius behind The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. For those of you who don't remember

"A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value – you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you – daft as a bush, but very, very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost." What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with."