Appreciations

Almost a year ago, I lost my father, Gunapala Windsor (Jathi as most of his friends would know him). I am certain that the sentiments I felt are that which are felt by any child or adult that has ever lost a parent. As such, this is my humble attempt at paying tribute to all parents. Furthermore, this is only an attempt at capturing the essence of a man whose presence I could never limit to words on a page as those who knew him in life would appreciate.

As I grow older, I realize how petrifying and difficult it must be to be a parent. It amazes me to realize how much strength is required to put away your own fears, insecurities and dreams to raise another human being, treading ever so carefully through life, with no instructions but your instincts, careful not to make mistakes, forever trying to protect your children, whilst allowing them to find their own way through life.

I don’t envy them for the trials and tribulations they went through, but I am eternally appreciative of my parents for the way they raised us. Through my reflections, I have come to realize that, for the most part, I am where I am in life because of my mother, and I am who I am because of my father and I was indeed fortunate to receive the best of both of them.

My father was by no means a conventional father figure and for that I am grateful. As a father, he taught us to dream when the rest of the world tried to teach us to conform. He encouraged us to think, to question and to lead when life was teaching us to unquestionably obey and follow. He showed us how to believe in ourselves, in those around us and in humanity, when the world seemed to be falling apart and people seemed to have lost touch with their hearts and souls.

His wisdom came not from text books or from a tertiary institute, but from life. It was refreshing to observe his thirst for knowledge, wisdom and life lessons when others his age felt that the time for learning had passed. He questioned all he felt, experienced and all that was happening around him. He learnt equally from toddlers and grandparents, from men and women, from the rich and poor and from technology and nature.

Through him I came to appreciate that life was the most valuable teacher of all and that knowledge and wisdom transcended our limitations. Despite the most regimented discipline in his life, he felt much compassion and love for humanity. He was indeed fortunate to carry his passion for charity into his career. At a very young age, I came to realize that our responsibilities should not stop just with our loved ones, but should extend to the world around us. As a director of institutions such as SOS Children’s Village, CINDA and Netherlands Welcome village for homeless elders, I saw my father spend his life attempting to improve the lives of those less fortunate than us. At every opportunity, he involved us in his work, allowing us to feel firsthand the value of a human connection that can transcend financial, racial, religious and cultural barriers. At times his passion for work carried him away from us, but this was a small price to pay for his contribution to the world.

There is a Christian prayer, the serenity prayer, which states, “Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change what I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” Mostly it was my father’s courage that inspired me. It was refreshing to see the world through his eyes; the potential he saw in people and situations, his never ending quest for improvement. There was an immense freedom and a certain childlike innocence in this grown man. Through him I learnt to follow my heart, to stand up for my beliefs and to accept challenges, knowing that the rewards were in the effort.

I realize how difficult it must be for a parent to let go of that instinct to protect your child at any cost from life, the world and themselves at times. As a child however, the biggest gift a parent can impart on you is the courage, skills, knowledge and wisdom to walk through life as an individual. It is a parent that walks beside you or even slightly behind you that gives you the confidence to handle life whilst lending you the reassurance of their constant presence.

He may have shuddered with fear and cried many tears for us in private, but he showed immense courage to allow us the faith and freedom to find our way through life. However, his courage was not a gamble. It was his belief that he had raised three children with values, principles, intelligence and compassion to combat life’s challenges that allowed him this freedom. He hardly told us how to live our lives, what to think or what to say. Rather, he lived his own life, leading by example.

On his final day in this world, I for the first time saw my father as a frail old man, a far cry from the man that had been my tower of strength. As I held his hand, for the first time I felt vulnerable, as if the pillar of faith and belief that had held me up was disintegrating underneath me. But with his last breath I knew that even in death his strength would shine.

Over the past year I have not felt his absence because I realized that everyday I continue in life as his daughter, being true to all that he taught me in life, he continues to live. Through his death came one wish- if I could achieve half of what he achieved in life, touch the hearts of half the people he touched and be half the man he was, my life would not be in vain.

My father, my inspiration