Who are you?

By Rukshani Weerasooriya

I have come to understand that the world is not made up of units and pairs of people. The world is made up of individuals. Each individual is precious and unique and holds a certain power to make an impact where ever he or she is placed. But sadly, very few people know who they are. Are you truly capable of introducing yourself? I have noticed how many ladies, for example, introduce themselves by telling you who they are married to and what their children do. This, though very significant information, has nothing to do with who those ladies are. The information they dole out as being introductory to themselves is absolutely irrelevant and leaves you slightly bewildered (and if you are me, it will also leave you itching to grab them by the ears and make them realise they are individuals in their own right, apart from their husbands and their children)!

It seems that everywhere I go I find someone who has no idea who he or she is. You ask them what they are up to these days and they'll say something like "I'm so lonely without my boyfriend. You see, he has been studying medicine in Russia for a while. He wants to get qualified before we get married. His plan is for us to get married and then migrate to America and live the dream."

You get a full answer, but one which does not tell you anything you asked to know. You don't know what she is up to; you just know that her boyfriend is a control freak, cutting up corpses in Russia and waiting to whisk this woman off to the land of the free, the first chance he gets. You know a lot about him, and nothing about her. If you wanted all this information about him, you could have asked a different question, or better yet, you could have spoken to the medical man himself.

That said, perhaps it isn't a bad idea to contemplate the notion of identity and get things figured out now that a New Year has dawned. Think about what defines you. It could be a combination of various factors – your passion for the outdoors, your dreams, ambitions, things you've learnt through experience or even your love for food!

All of this could form just a part of the complex picture of who you are as a person. There are so many layers to you; so many shades of grey; so many reasons why you are who you are. You are not merely your husband's wife, you mother's daughter or your girlfriend's favourite boyfriend! You are a person independent of all these things and people.

If you build your life upon the false understanding that someone or something external defines you, you will find your entire self-view being diminished the moment that person or external qualification fails you, in some way. What if your boyfriend dumps you tomorrow? Do you have an identity separate from who he is? Who are you apart from him? Do you still have favourite things to do? Or did he take your whole life with you when he left?

Here are some simple truths to help you weed out the falsehood and put down some good strong roots, so your tree of life will not be shaken when the storms come your way (and trust me, they will come!):

1. It is a fact that you carry certain baggage with you due to your unique experiences. This baggage is not you. It is a burden you simply have to let go of. It does not define the person you are.

2. You have, within yourself, everything you need, to deal with any situation you may have to face. It's a matter of tapping into sources you already have!

3. As a human being, you have an intellect (you are not stupid!), you have certain talents, abilities and good qualities, unique to you, which exist even if undiscovered or in a rough, unrefined form.

4. You have certain likes and dislikes. This is an important factor which shapes your personality and differentiates you from the next person. Embrace your uniqueness. Work on the negative aspects that are not constructive. Make them into aspects that can be useful to yourself and to society.

5. You have been placed in a unique situation. No one else has ever lived your life. It is a gift given to you alone. It is for you to enjoy. For you to build up. If you destroy it, it is not someone else's fault. But no 'destruction' is permanent. You can push through any difficulty.

6. You are no better or worse than anyone else. Each person is an individual worthy of an identity of their own. Each person exists for a reason. Each has their own battles to fight and their own journeys of discovery to make. So fight those battles, conquer those iffy situations and discover yourself and the people around you.

Here's to starting a revolution! Let's discover ourselves – and in doing so, let's figure out what we can offer each other as we live together on this magnificent planet we call Home.