Save your blushes, times have changed, tables turned, and we belong together!

By Rypvanwinkle

My Dear Medamulaney Mahinda Puthey,

I thought I must write to you after observing your recent deeds, in Paradise. I almost feel as if I am in charge of that country once again-why, bombs are exploding day after day and you are carrying on as if nothing extraordinary has happened!

I was delighted to see your proposal to resurrect the Indo-Lanka Accord. You seem to follow me to the letter because you too called an all party conference just like I did in my heyday-and then just proceeded to do what you wanted to do without caring one bit about what the conference really wanted.

When I brought Rajiv Gandhi to Colombo and got him to sign the Accord, there were so many who opposed it-including some of my own ministers. At that time you, along with Mrs. B, were at the forefront of agitation against the Accord even though you were not even a Member of Parliament then!

And here you are now telling anyone who will listen, what a great political solution the Accord is. Mahinda puthey, I wouldn’t be surprised if you were to tell us in ten years’ time what a great agreement young Ranil’s ceasefire was!

I was also amused to see your remarks at a ceremony where you unveiled a portrait of my successor. You were singing his praises to high heaven and calling upon everyone to follow his policies. You also said that anyone who follows his policies should oppose the Tigers because he was killed by them!

Aney, Mahinda puthey, we know politicians have very short memories but you seem to have rather convenient bouts of amnesia. Why, otherwise how could you ever forget that you rebelled against this vary man’s policies by staging ‘jana goshas’ and ‘paada yaathras’?

Anyway, just like my successor who had a grand ‘gam udawa’ every year, you too seem to like tamashas. Why else would you organise a massive exhibition in Colombo in the midst of bomb explosions and security concerns when you can’t even keep schools opened for any decent length of time?

Anyway, I don’t think you need to worry too much about everyone else’s security because you travel around under heavy guard closing all the roads in the vicinity. If anyone asks you about it, all you need to say is, ‘thama thamange aarakshaawa thama thaman salasaa gatha yuthui’! That will teach them not to ask you any more embarrassing questions.

Of course, I know that there is still a trick or two in my book that you have not used yet. A good one to think about would be the referendum trick I played on the electorate more than twenty five years ago. If you do that too, no one call you a great democrat thereafter-but then you have nothing to lose on that account because no one thinks you are a great democrat even now, Mahinda puthey!

Contrary to popular belief, Mahinda puthey, I am quite content to see you at the top rather than my own nephew, Ranil. And that is not because I love that young man any less but because after six or twelve years of your good self at the helm, people will start to say what a kind and considerate leader I was!

Yours truly,
Uncle Junius Richard
PS-You haven’t learnt one important lesson however, Mahinda puthey and that is to keep the now not so young Anura on the opposing side. You must have realised by now that this chap creates division and discord wherever he goes, so it would have been better if you allowed him to go to the green side and stay there instead of accommodating him in your own camp. You know, it might be a costly mistake that you are making, what with Satellite waiting in the wings to stab you in the back!