Perhaps his victory is round the bend – still waiting!

By Rypvanwinkle

My Dear Green Man,

I thought I must write to you after hearing that some greens were calling for you to step down after yet another election defeat in the Eastern province. Sadly, Green Man, these calls for your resignation have now become as predictable as your election defeats.

Of course, we heard you say that the election was rigged heavily and that your party lost the poll only because of that. There may be some truth in that argument, Green Man, but don’t forget that this is a region which you won so convincingly three years ago and there is no denying that some of that support has simply evaporated now!

Then, as if to downplay your embarrassment, you and your party began travelling in bullock carts which led to a now infamous slogan for the other side. And as if that was not enough, you have to strut around Lipton Circus, peering into passing vehicles and tooting their horns!

For a moment, Green Man, it makes me wonder whether Mahinda maama has planted some secret agent in your camp who comes up with all these half baked ideas to try and mobilise the masses against the government. They are all flops, you end up with a lot of egg on your face and there is Mahinda maama grinning from ear to ear and playing the ‘maha kalu Sinhalaya’ role which he is famous for!

And in response, the rest of the Greens around you also have no answer but to come up with the same old suggestion-sack you and everything will be alright and the Greens will be back in power before you could say ‘S.B. Dissanayake’!

I can’t really blame them for suggesting that you be removed after your record of fifteen election defeats, but then, I can’t really see anyone suitable on the horizon either. There is the grandson of the father of the nation and there is the son of the one who once led the party but it would take a brave man to say that either of them is better than you…

And Mahinda maama doesn’t allow things to settle down, does he? Now he has called for elections to two other councils, those in Rajarata and Sabaragamuwa. He will do his utmost to win those two polls too and I dread to think what your party stalwarts would say about your leadership if that indeed happens!

What you need to realise, Green Man, is that there is absolutely no point in crying and complaining that the polls were rigged. Surely you yourself said before the election that they were likely to be rigged. Then, as a responsible opposition party it was your duty to prevent that from happening instead of whining after the event.

We are hoping that you have learnt this lesson at least now and that you won’t repeat the same mistake at the Rajarata and Sabaragamuwa elections. But then, given your tendency to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, we can never be sure, can we?

It is best, Green Man, that you revive the Grand Old Party at the grassroots level before doing anything else. And please remember, that can hardly be done by hopping from Geneva to London; instead, they need you more at Ginigathhena and Lunugamwehera.So, what can we say, Green Man, except best of luck. Of course, you can rest assured that no matter what happens, Mahinda maama will be quite happy to see you in your present job for a long, long time to come!

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS-The latest we have seen of you is warmly greeting Satellite, the lady who conspired against your government and stripped your cabinet ministers of their powers. Well, what can we say except to wonder that with friends like these, who would need enemies?