5th Column

My dear Mahinda maama,

I thought I must write to you, when I heard that you had been sworn in by Maithri as Prime Minister. The news came as a surprise to most of us in Paradise, though we knew something was afoot when both of you began meeting behind closed doors a few weeks ago — and then denying that you had met.

We are not the only ones who are confused because the Green Man is saying that he is still the Prime Minister and that he cannot be removed without a vote of no-confidence. There appears to be some truth to what he is saying so now it seems as if we have two Prime Ministers instead of one!

The Green Man is saying that he still enjoys the confidence of a majority MPs in Parliament and the Cabinet remains the same. Meanwhile, you say that you will form a new cabinet soon. I suppose this is what happens when you entrust a country to someone who has only been a grama sevaka!

Some say that what Maithri did was unconstitutional and that we are in a constitutional crisis because of that. That maybe so, but that shouldn’t surprise anyone because Maithri is someone who broke all his promises. He stabbed you in the back first and now he has stuck the dagger into the Green Man.

What has happened has indeed happened and I suppose as far as you and Maithri are concerned, it doesn’t matter how it was done. That is why you repeated recently that your decision to remove Shirani as CJ was justified. We all know that for you, Mahinda maama, the end justifies the means.

Everything depends on whether the Greens can retain their numbers who support the Green Man. It must be said that even after that vote of no-confidence earlier this year, he didn’t learn his lesson and went about as if nothing had happened, oblivious to the hardships people were facing every day.

It does look like you have the edge because at least two Green MPs have already pledged their loyalty to you. Among them is the great grandson of the Father of the Nation. He is angry because the Green Man didn’t give him a Cabinet post. So, it seems as if you can now buy loyalty with a Cabinet post!

It was also comical to see the top cop smiling and saluting you so readily. Weren’t your chaps calling for his removal because he didn’t investigate that alleged assassination plot against Gota and Maithri thoroughly? He seems to be singing for his supper and no doubt many others will do the same now.

There were celebrations when it was announced that you were back in the PM’s job and people lit crackers in many places. Obviously, they expect a better deal with you in charge. So, you must tell us what your plans are for the next one and a quarter years if you do manage to stay in your job.

I can already think of a few changes, though. I suppose you will get the airport in Mattala functioning profitably again and the same holds true for port that also bears your name. Fuel prices will, I am sure, miraculously be reduced and the cost of living will come down and we will live happily ever after.

People can also heave a sigh of relief, secure in the knowledge that doctors will not strike at the drop of a hat because, when you are in government; Padeniya and his GMOA become purring pussycats. Who knows, under your benevolent guidance, even SAITM might have a second lease of life!

One of your first tasks will be to get Maithri to pardon people who have been on your side in the past. I am sure your former Secretary Lalith as well as Gnanasara hamuduruwo and that Duminda chap must all be celebrating because they will now know that they won’t have to suffer in jails for long!

However, this is only the first stage of your plan, isn’t it, Mahinda maama? I am sure you wouldn’t want to be an underling to Maithri for long. After all, he is the man who publicly said he will never have you as his PM and said that if you won the last election, he would have been six feet under!

So, Mahinda maama, we will wait for the next stage. That will be when you either lure more Green MPs to your camp and amend the Constitution so you could run again for the top job or, if you can’t do that, take control of the Blue party once again and nominate Gota to run the race for you.

Anyway, Mahinda maama, we wish you the best of luck because you will need a lot of it. Everyone thinks the Green Man is now the loser in this game but, in the long run, the real loser is Maithri. When you show him the door and he has to go, I can assure you very few people will feel sorry for him.

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS – It always intrigues me as to why politicians don’t know when to retire gracefully. Come to think of it, only the much-maligned JR and Dearly Beloved left when they had to. Ah, but then, you have to be in power until Namal baby comes of age, so you can ensure that the dynasty continues, isn’t it?