5th Column

My dear Dishonourable Deputy Speaker Ranjith,

I feel sad and ashamed that I have to write to you in this manner. However, I also feel that I must, after watching the totally unnecessary drama that was played out in Parliament on Thursday. So, instead of saying ‘congratulations’ to you, I would say ‘commiserations’ to the people of this country.

What is so disappointing about everything that happened on Thursday was that it involved you, DisHon Ranjith, one of the few people among the ‘225’ who still commanded at least a little respect from the people. Just so you know, you lost all that on Thursday.

Last week you were telling us what a principled man you are. You said that even though you were from the Blue party, you were nominated as Deputy Speaker by the ‘pohottuwa’ party. So, when the Blue party decided to quit the government and become ‘independent’, you felt you had to quit too.

Ah, there is an honourable man, or so we thought. Everyone got very excited. That is because, when a vote is held to select your replacement, it would give the ‘telephone’ chaps a chance to test the waters before bringing their No Confidence Motion they have been planning against Mahinda maama.

Let’s face the reality of numbers, DisHon Ranjith. The ‘telephone’ chaps have just over 50 MPs in their ranks and have already lost some like Lady Diana. For their No Confidence Motion to get the 113 votes needed, they would have had to get at least some MPs in the government to support them.

In the last few weeks, we had heard that some – including you, DisHon Ranjith – in the government have apparently become ‘independent’. The ‘telephone’ chaps would have wondered what that meant. After all, they are only independent – they didn’t say they are with the opposition.

The ‘telephone’ chaps would have had their doubts – and with good reason too. One half of the ‘independents’ are led by Wimal and Udaya. It was they who organised the ‘Mahinda sulanga’ helping Mahinda maama, who was then clinging on to a window at Medamulana, to return to politics.

When they say they will support a No Confidence Motion against Mahinda maama, that has to be taken with a pinch of salt. They called Basil maama the ‘ugly American’ and swore they won’t be in the same Cabinet with him. Then they sat down to discuss an ‘interim’ government with him!

The other half of these ‘independents’ is led by Aiyo Sirisena. He stabbed Mahinda maama in the back to run the big race. Then he did the same to the Green Man after getting the top job with Green votes. Thereafter he asked Mahinda maama to become PM after telling us that he would never do so!

So, DisHon Ranjith, we can understand why the ‘telephone’ chaps were so keen to test the sincerity of these ‘independents’ and why they thought the contest for Deputy Speaker would be an ideal chance to do so. That is why they even agreed to endorse you, though you were not from their camp.

Although the ‘pohottuwa’ chaps had decided to nominate their own candidate, they realised that they didn’t have the numbers to win if all the so-called ‘independents’ voted for you, DisHon Ranjith. So, they did the next best thing: they tried to split you saying they too will support you. You fell for that.

If you were Hon Ranjith and not DisHon Ranjith, and if all the so-called ‘independents’ together had an ounce of integrity, they would have seen through this tactic and you would have withdrawn from the race, allowing the ‘telephone chaps’ to put forward Imtiaz to run against the ‘pohottuwa’ chap.

Instead, you decided to go through with this charade. As a result, the Hon Ranjith who sent his resignation because he wanted to be ‘independent’ and not part of the government, ran as DisHon Ranjith, the candidate supported by the government. You won with a resounding majority!

While Sabry tells us that there are only 50 million dollars in the Treasury, far less than what some families have in their bank accounts (you know which families), Parliament spent half a day electing the same man who resigned at a cost of some eight million rupees paid for by taxpayers.

The ‘pohottuwa’ chaps are not smart about what fertiliser to use, how to float the rupee or when to go to the IMF. Yet, they are smart about protecting their own interests and saving their skin. That is why we have no cooking gas but enough tear gas, no money for medicine but enough money for barricades.

After what you did, DisHon Ranjith, there was chaos inside and outside Parliament on Friday. You are partly responsible for that. That is because, your actions made a mockery of democracy. You proved that in this land, most politicians are so deaf, they don’t want to hear the voice of the people.

Still, we have to thank you too. That is for confirming what we always suspected: that the so-called ‘independents’ are merely a group which doesn’t want to be at the receiving end when the peoples’ will prevails. So, they are no different to the ‘R’ family: they too want to remain in power forever.

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS           : I just heard you resigned – again! Maybe you should contest again, because you might win again. Seriously, DisHon Ranjith, I feel you must follow in the footsteps of that chap Muthuhettigama. He was once examined by doctors at a particular hospital to exclude certain conditions, remember?