5th Column

My dear Sajith and the ‘telephone’ chaps,

I thought I must write to you after seeing the show you put up last Sunday at Campbell Park, holding your annual convention and trying to convey the impression that you are indeed the major opposition party and the government-in-waiting, although it is unlikely that any elections will be held soon.

You had to do so to regain the confidence of the people after many blamed you for not intervening when Gota maama had his back to the wall and asked you to take over. You had your reasons – such as not wanting to work with the ‘pohottuwa’ chaps- but, as a result, people now call you ‘aasai bayayi’. 

The other reason you had to stage an event was because elections to local bodies are said to be on the horizon. Don’t be too sure, though. Rumour has it that Uncle Ranil is not too keen on elections right now because his Green Party is still finding its feet, so he may find some excuse to delay the polls.

I don’t envy your plight. Though the ‘pohottuwa’ is at sixes and sevens with a new faction emerging every day, all of them are adding to the mix. People are confused as to who the real opposition is: you, Maithri’s party, the different groups led by Wimal, Dullas, Welgama, Yapa or the rathu sahodarayas?

Then, even within your own party, you have to keep an eye on your flock, haven’t you? On the one hand some of them are indulging in some unsavoury behaviours that will do you no favours. On the other hand, you have to keep them within the fold and ensure that Uncle Ranil doesn’t poach them.

You haven’t done too badly, though. When Harin and Manusha fell into Uncle Ranil’s trap and were lured by the offer of two measly Cabinet portfolios, you may have feared that the floodgates will open and your fellows will desert the ‘telephone’ party before you could say ‘sajaba’. That didn’t happen.

Still, Rajitha all but crossed over and the only thing preventing him from leaving was the fact that Keheliya wasn’t willing to part with the Health portfolio. The dentist that he is, he earns a living by dealing with other peoples’ mouths, but one day he is sure to perish because of opening his own!

Another who must be watched with great care is the Field Marshall. Great soldier he is, but he behaves as if he is still in the military and calls people by the names of various animals. It seems he hasn’t learnt from what happened when Gota maama tried to run the country as if he was in the Army.

At the convention he was annoyed because, by the time he rose to speak, you had already spoken and much of the crowd left after that. He gave a piece of his mind about having to speak to empty spaces and looked like he was about to explode. He then spoke as if his audience was the ‘aragalaya’ crowd.

Next, you have to deal with the not-so-lady-like lady, Diana. When they said hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, they probably had her in mind. With her seat in Parliament in doubt, she is now threatening to take all of you down with her, claiming that you are still members of the Green party!

As if all these troubles weren’t enough, you have to monitor the bad behaviour of your more capable members as well, both in and out of Parliament. The way that Nalin chap behaved towards Diana was as bad as what Tissakutti said to Rohini sometime ago, so you can’t take the moral high ground now.

Then there is Hirunika, hailed not so long as the ‘Iron Lady’ who had the courage to take on Gota maama at his house. While she deserves the credit for that, she shouldn’t lose sight of what is decent and what is not when talking about Uncle Ranil. After all, he is even older than her late father.

In the middle of all this, Sajith and the telephone chaps, you must realise that, just because Gota maama’s crowd messed up the economy, you won’t be given the reins of power at the next elections automatically. Remember, the masses are sick and tired of most established parties and politicians.

Your outfit hasn’t got its act together yet. If you don’t do so, we will have a three-way contest at the next polls: Uncle Ranil’s Greens probably working with the ‘pohottuwa’, your party and the ‘rathu sahodarayas’. Then, if we end up with a hung Parliament, the people will be hung out to dry!

You have miles to go and very little time. Uncle Ranil is busy talking to the so-called ‘minority parties’ these days. He may have the best of intentions but if he solves some of their issues, they too will desert you and join him. So, Sajith and the telephone chaps, think about all this, will you?

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS: While Uncle Ranil is busy trying to steal people from you, maybe you should secretly encourage one person to cross over. Remember the ‘Tissa factor’? Whichever side he supports, loses. That hasn’t been proven wrong for the past 20 years, so maybe it is now time to test that theory again!