5th Column

My dear Maithri, Dullas, Wimal and Anura Priyadarshana,

I thought I should write to you this week after seeing all of you get together and launch yet another alliance of political parties. There are so many of them these days that we have lost count, but seeing all of you on the same stage the other day, I honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry.

You say you are joining forces for local government elections. That is only if they are held. You-know-who probably still has a few tricks up his sleeve which he will try in the next few days. That is after sending a circular this week asking that deposits not be accepted. That went horribly wrong.

Now, whatever differences you had with the Rajapaksas, all of you stayed with them and contested from the ‘pohottuwa’ at the last election until the ship of State began sinking under Gota maama’s leadership. Then all of you scurried away in different directions like rats deserting that sinking ship.

Maithri, your Blue Party said you will function as ‘independents’, separate from the ‘pohottuwa’. Although you had about 14 MPs from your party, you are now left with just a handful after most of them, even seniors like Sleeping Nimal and Mahinda Amarey deserted you to join Uncle Ranil.

Dulllas, you paid the price for contesting Uncle Ranil. So did GL for proposing your name. You make a good pair, like Laurel and Hardy, the old comedy duo, or as Sajith would say, ‘usa nam security, miti nam kamkaru’. You do have some decent people like Charitha in your ranks.

Dullas, you also have among you some black sheep such as Jayasumana, who, though being a doctor, didn’t cover himself with glory during the pandemic. GL’s track record is not one of loyalty either having served under Satellite, Ranil, Mahinda maama and Gota maama before deserting all of them.

Wimal, in your outfit, is there anything in common? There is the ‘Old Left’ which takes a literal meaning in Vasu and Tissa. Then we have you, Wimal, who gave up a fast unto death when Mahinda maama offered you some ‘thembili’. Then there is the ubiquitous ‘athana methana’ Rathana thero.

Wimal, you call yourself the ‘uttara’ party but you give rise to more questions than answers. For instance, can you tell us how you and Rathana thero, who raised a hue and cry about Dr Shafi – now proven to be unfounded – can be in the same party as Vasu and Tissa who are not racists?

Anura Priyadarshana, I don’t envy you. You have only a handful of MPs. The fact that you didn’t join any of the other three groups suggest that you found all of them odd in one way or another. Am I correct in assuming that you are in this brand-new alliance because you have no other choice?

Just because all of you come together, do you expect us, the voters of Paradise, to believe whatever fairy tale you spin for us over the next few weeks? For instance, Dullas, you say you will put an end to nepotism, and Maithri, you claim you will win 90 per cent of local institutions.

Maithri, should we believe you now? You came to power promising to close the airport to prevent thieves leaving the country. People voted for you to oust Mahinda maama but, after saying you would be six feet under, under his rule, you invited him back and illegally appointed him as Prime Minister!

Wimal, do you remember campaigning for Mahinda maama against Maithri? The clever orator that you are, you ridiculed him then saying, ‘ko mey Sirisena’ or ‘where is this Sirisena?’. Well, now you seem to have found him at last: You have formed a new alliance with him – against Mahinda maama!

Maithri, Dullas, Wimal and Anura Priyadarshana, I hope all of you realise that although you have got together now and call yourself a new alliance with a new nameboard and the ‘helicopter’ as your symbol, most people see you as the same old people who were part of the ‘pohottuwa’.

What you have in common is that all of you first supported Gota maama. Then, all of you contested from the ‘pohottuwa’ at the last election. In that sense, that means you stood for all that he stood for – and that includes his disastrous economic policies and the communal slogans in his campaign.

So, it will be hard to convince anyone to vote for you, seeing our plight as a country today for which you too are responsible. Besides, the loyalties of most of you are in question because they change so often. What then is the guarantee that, eventually, the ‘helicopter’ will not land at Medamulana again?

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS: People blame the Blues and the Greens for taking turns to ruin the country. Maithri, you deserve credit for ruining both parties. Since you are in this alliance, it is quite likely that this ‘helicopter’ will also crash. You must also find 100 million rupees, don’t you? Or, will the price of rice increase now?