Preserving your Dreams from Passion Parasites & Dream Thieves
View(s):I constantly meet a lot of people who are struggling mentally, one thing they all have in common is that they all are struggling to overcome the regrets that keep condemning them with an inner voice that says “you should have done this or you shouldn’t have done that”. When these regrets are entertained over a period of time it grows into a strong threshold of self-condemnation which will push them into a deep sea of depression. They have had many dreams for themselves but down the line they have lost the passion towards those dreams, they eventually end up feeling they have not achieved much in life. Mental health is similar to physical health. You grow into what you feed yourself. If you are feeding yourself oily/greasy food you will escalate the bad cholesterol in your body, sugary food will only make you get diabetics and food with high levels of artificial preservatives are cancerous. If you worry constantly all you will receive is a worrying mind, if you grumble always your mind will become discriminating and judgmental.
When I was young, at the beginning of every year I used to write down many of my dreams in my diary. Eventually, I found out that they are only dreams limited to be written in the diary and that I have given up on most of them. When I dug deep to see the reason why I have given up on them I found two main reasons. One reason was the attitude of procrastination which I have been developing since childhood and then I found out that I have let the external voices within me steal my dreams. When I was young I was always inclined to make decisions based on what others say. My clique of friends and associates were my dream thieves and passion parasites who slowly crept into my mind and kept consuming and stealing my dreams purely out of jealousy. One desire of the dream thieves are that they prefer their friends also to be in the same sinking boat because the moment the others are also with them, it is the best way they can utilise to justify their failures. Jealousy is a by-product of ego, the people tend to develop a jealousy towards those who live blissfully. This is the reason why our affiliations play a major role in our lives in driving passionately towards our dreams.
Very recently, I told a friend of mine that he should not take family counseling from those who are divorced. The tendency of such persons wanting to see another person getting into his boots is very high, his mind could easily justify his separation based on another person’s separation. Do not ever ask a procrastinator if you should sit for the exam or not, the tendency for him to suggest you to postpone the examination is very high, as he could soothe his pain of being a loser. During painful situations the first thing a friend who thinks that answers to problems are hidden inside a bottle of alcohol suggests “come let’s have a drink”. He will never encourage you to stop find answers in a bottle of alcohol. Rather he would encourage you to run for a glass of spirit when times are tough.
There is no other alternative than becoming a winner. All the other temporary solutions will only help you to dream for a while without any pain. Yet, the dreaming will end with the instant gratification and the weight is going to be even tougher, as you have wasted some time that could have been invested on the battle. This is the reason I always say love and help the lost but do not remain with them for a long period of time.
Another aspect that we must be vigilant about is deciding to whom we should expose our dreams and visions, which can affect you like passion parasites who subtly steal your dreams with the intention of including you also in the losers boat. We are to elevate upward and forward in life and never downward or backward. We need forces and support to push upward and forward and not forces that will pull us downward and backward along with our innocent children. Sometime back I met a benevolent friend of mine called Milan Shockman and he said “Phila every time I meet you I see that you have climbed greater heights than the previous time I met you”. Is that not the life you expect for you and your children? A life filled with joy, climbing mountain over mountain rather than steeping down from depth to depth.
I am encouraging you today to list down the people who are associating you, even the ones on Facebook. Do a thorough cleanup of your associates. You should never leave any room for dream thieves in your mind store. Times are so tough that we cannot afford to have people who are in our lives to steal our dreams and weaken our passions. One method of preserving your dream is by making sure you do not expose your dream to dream thieves and passion parasites. Sometimes, when wicked people ask you about your dreams, it is always better to keep quiet and answer with a beautiful smile without exposing your dreams to them. Do not reveal your dreams to anyone.
Even your achievements should not be revealed to anyone. Everyone is not going to be happy to see you doing well. Especially in an underdeveloped country like ours, the primary focus is to see how others are faring. Most of the parents set their children’s dreams based on how their friend’s children move. Each and every child is unique to the world. Therefore, guide him or her in their uniqueness and not based on somebody else’s personality. Every personality is awesome.
Another way of immunising your passion is to always spend more time with yourself. Socialising and networking are really important. Above all the most important is self-awareness, self-management and self-motivation. A motivational film or a powerful autobiography can motivate you only for a short period of time. Third party motivation can only ignite the work, it will not sustain your passion and inspiration. You are responsible for maintaining the fire. Spend at least half an hour a day with yourself preferably locked in a separate room, so that you can talk to yourself about your dreams by not allowing the dream thieves or passion parasites to demotivate you.
Sometimes, these people say “look here mate, out of love I’m telling you, do you think what you’re doing is practical?” One of the strongest weapons dream thieves and passion parasites acquire is creating doubt in you about your dreams. Doubt is a detrimental weapon. The seed of doubt could grow up into a gigantic tree of discouragement. Do not be around people who constantly attempt to plant seeds of doubt in you. Surround yourself with those who water and fertilise your seed of confidence. Tidy your FB. It is better to possess five dream nourishing people rather than 995 dream thrives.
I will be conducting a powerful Mind Coaching Programme on the 04th of March at Jetwing Colombo Seven. A training on emotional intelligence in driving performance, fueling passion towards key performance indicators, overcoming worry, stress and anxiety, techniques to enhance mind capacity and focus management. The one day training programme fee would be Rs. 25,000/= including meals. If anyone is interested registering for this valuable programme, please contact me on the below mentioned number.
For comments:
Voice – 0774 88 5656 / e-mail:
philipnehri.m@gmail.com
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