5th Column

My dear Uncle Ranil,

I thought of writing to you this week because the entire country is talking about getting that loan from the IMF and praising you. The way people are celebrating, it is as if all our economic problems are over and we are a land of prosperity – and some are saying all this is because of your hard work.

Last week, you seem to have had the Midas touch. You were at the Royal-Thomian when your old school beat the Thomians after 7 years. After striking gold, being lucky enough to be at the right place at the time when Gota maama resigned, you have brought good luck to the boys in blue and gold too.

People say quite often now that you are following in the footsteps of your uncle, JR. I would say you have done better. It took JR 6 years after becoming the boss to get the Royalists to win in a Royal-Thomian. That was 40 years ago, in 1983. You did that less than a year after becoming the boss!

Days after the game, you said that you were trying to do what the Royal captain did. Royal had lost a game and came into the big match as the underdogs. The captain, Dasis, rallied all the members of his team around him after that defeat, played a brilliant innings himself and went on to win the big match.

You compared yourself to the Royal captain. You said that when you took over the country, we were in crisis. It was as if everything was lost. You got all the members of the team that Gota maama left behind to rally around you. So, are you suggesting that you have taken us to victory now?

The manner in which some people celebrated suggests that they feel we have overcome the crisis. They were even lighting crackers and eating kiribath. That is not surprising. We are a nation that lit crackers and ate kiribath to mark the deaths of some people. You will know who those people are.

What we are told is that this IMF money will be used to ease the current situation by buying us some time to get our affairs in order, get back to business as usual and show some results. We are also told that it comes with strings attached, such as higher taxes, higher electricity rates and selling state agencies.

After getting the loan, you made a trip to Parliament to make yet another of your now familiar speeches. While explaining what the IMF loan meant to us, you also said that because of it, we are no longer a bankrupt nation. That was very encouraging to hear, Uncle Ranil, but that also raises some questions.

We heard that already some State institutions have been put up for sale. I can understand the IMF wanting those that are losing money to be sold off, such as our national airline. But the first to be sold are some profit-making ventures. Everybody is asking why that is. Is it an error of ‘commission’?

I am not sure whether you have forgotten, but then there is the small matter of local government elections which are being postponed. What we were being told by that chap at Treasury was that there was no money to print ballot papers or to spend for all the other tasks associated with the election.

Now that we have got these billions of dollars from the IMF, and since you are also saying we are no longer a bankrupt nation, surely we can afford those elections now? That would stop these pesky ‘telephone’ chaps and those ‘maalimawa’ fellows from protesting and staging strikes every other day.

The cost of that election is some 10 billion rupees. The IMF loan was 3 billion dollars. Even someone like Vajira can do the maths. The cost of the election is about one hundredth of the loan you got. I’m sure the IMF won’t mind you spending that amount because they too want political stability.

I was wondering whether that is why this loan made you so happy. Then I realised that you were thinking not of the local elections but a different election – one that gets you properly elected to the job you now do, instead of being chosen by a few dozen chaps from the ‘pohottuwa’ in Parliament.

The plan is to call yourself our economic saviour, dangle the carrot of 2029 to Namal to keep the ‘pohottuwa’ happy, get the Greens to form a coalition with the dentist and some others from the ‘telephone’ camp, and offer the 13th Amendment to ‘minority’ parties. Then, you think you can win.

That all depends on one factor: Sajith and Anura fighting each other because they both believe they can win and don’t realise that the more they clash, the easier it is for you. The way they are at each other now, I don’t think you even need to take the credit for the IMF loan to help you, Uncle Ranil!

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS: You said you were like the winning Royal Captain, Dasis, because he set an example, leading from the front. Next year, there will be another big match – and Dasis won’t be leading the Royal team. So, you should be more careful when comparing yourself to the Royal Captain, Uncle Ranil!