Filling an Empty Bottle with a Closed Cap
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At one particular point in my life, my aunt Roshani took me to meet a doctor to evaluate what was going on with my mental status. The doctor had told my aunt that it is challenging to treat me as I seem to know both the sickness as well as the medication that is needed. I was merely an empty bucket attempting to distribute water to everybody around me. Today, seeing certain people reminds me of the old me. Whilst I myself was in deep trouble with a truck load of issues, I was trying to solve others problems. It was only the talk that I possessed and I never walked the talk. I was never open for any advice, guidance, correction, direction and development. I was living as though everything was fine, whereas I was completely lost and lonely. Even though I was pretending that everything was alright I was in deep misery and failure. Many people close their doors to correction simply due to their pride. We need to transfer our mind set from “I know it all” to “I need to learn it all”. A plant will grow healthily only when it is subjected to continuous nurturing and pruning. If you allow the pests to infect the plant, they will end up completely destroying the plant. We must essentially eliminate the attitudes that absorb our performance. There is no other way to do it than being open for correction. Sometimes my sweet little daughter Esther comes up to me and advices me on my weaknesses, I sincerely accept them with the positive intention of correcting myself.
If you are aware of the answers to all the problems in the world, your life is sure to be more glimmering and joyful than what it is at present. People who say that they know the answers to each and everything are the most miserable of all when they are alone. We cannot go to war with an empty bag. We must be equipped with all the necessary skills and armoury for the wars in life. How can we ever attain something when we are under the impression that we already have it? A successful personality must have a “Continuous Growth Mind Set” and not a “Know it All Mind Set”. Whenever someone tried to advise me, I used to always have a point to counter attack and justify that I am not wrong. Yet, the day I was imprisoned, I realised that I knew nothing, as the prison was not a place that winners are sent. The prison is a place for those who have messed up in life, so that they can be with themselves and correct themselves. Yet, it is a sad sight to see how people leave the prison in a greater mess than they were already in. Recently I interacted with the Sri Lankan prison to conduct free sessions for inmates to support them to streamline their lifestyle. It was regretful to see the level of interest of the higher officials as they consider prisoners as though they are a pile of crap. They would understand the value of a prisoner’s life only if the prisoner was their son, husband, or father. It seems like the prison officials carry the idea that prisoners cannot be transformed. This mentality occurs when you think that whatever you know is the only correct answer for the problem. This is the reason I constantly remind you that we need to learn and develop ourselves on a daily basis, nevertheless we will not be able to succeed in life.
Do not prescribe medication for others when you yourself has a rash across your entire body. Is it possible to fill an empty bottle, while the cap is closed? If you are to fill the empty bottle, the first step you must take is to take the cap off and make sure the bottle is open to be filled. Unless you do so, even if the bottle is kept under a tap with a high pressured flow of water, the bottle will never be filled, the water will merely be wasted. All the advices that were given by my parents and teachers went astray as I had completely closed up for corrections. Life becomes beautiful when you are open to corrections, it elevates you from one level to another. You need to make sure that you raise the bar periodically in order to advance your performance. How can you raise the bar when you do not know where you stand currently? How would you know your current position if you are closed to advices and corrections?
We must understand that our minds are self-centred, hence we always try to justify our stance. This nature should be challenged so that we can redefine our thought patterns. Our thoughts can be redefined only by us. Your next door neighbour cannot change the channels of your TV from her remote. You own your control system which is your mind. The concern is, are you actually the controller of your control system or have you pawned it to some other controlling authority? If so, make a firm decision to reclaim your ownership. Starve the disruptive thought patterns and nurture and feed the thought patterns that contribute positively. The more you open up for constructive criticism the more you will grow. Wisdom is like a lamp in the darkness. Some paths in life are full of darkness. One of the key reasons that helped me to become a world renowned trainer and a successful CEO from being a beggar on the streets who was admitted to the Angoda Mental Hospital is because I was always open to constructive criticism and correction. There were many a times that I was adamant to accept when something was pointed out in public, yet I made it a point to go home and think over it seriously, so that I can take the necessary steps towards transforming myself.
Do not let your ego purchase your desire to grow. Surrender yourself to corrections. Once your wound is healed you will know how peaceful life is. As long as you continue to scratch your wound for the temporary satisfaction, you will not experience the peace and serenity in life. Be humble even before your children as the source you receive the nourishment is not a concern as long as it nourishes you. Do not worry about the source, focus only on the input as the outcome will purely be determined by the input and not on its source.
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