A Leak in the Emotional Energy Tank
View(s):There were many instances in the past when I could not move ahead as I was extremely down mentally due to what others had to say about me. I was desperately in need of being good in the eyes of others. I was an acceptance freak. I did everything in view of receiving the appreciation and validation of others. The days I did not receive the external acceptance that I expected, I was feeling mentally dead. I was addicted to acceptance and validation. Everywhere I went, my mind was craving for acceptance and the moment I did not receive it I always became dull and numb. Similarly, when I was rejected by someone I used to spend my entire day trying to figure out why they rejected me, I kept thinking about it over and over again.
Even though food is mandatory for a human being, consuming food excessively will undoubtedly lead to obesity. Love and acceptance are two essential means of food for our mind but craving for them insanely will make you a slave of these external sources. The greatest achievement one could attain is to be happy with himself knowing very well that he or she could still be happy even when everyone else leaves him or her. As I have mentioned on many occasions, I spend a considerable amount of my time locking myself in my room to spend quality time with myself. You should not be a robot who is controlled by external parties. The most important motivation one could ever have is to be driven by “Intrinsic Motivation”, the inspiration you receive from yourself.
“Extrinsic Motivation” is the inspiration you receive from external, which is indeed a good thing. Yet, realistically it is impossible to expect your surroundings to appreciate you all the time. Besides constant appreciation from the same party would certainly lose its power over time as your mind is always quick to adapt and define situations as generic. That is the reason many people do not feel the “I Love You” they hear from their spouse. Instead they seek to hear it from outsiders as they have become accustomed to the “I Love You” they hear from their spouse. Many are struggling to feel content and it has become the most prevalent issue in the lives of many.
The drive in life should be from within and not from outside. This is when emotional energy plays a crucial role in life. Just as you are able to lift heavy weights when you have physical energy, you must possess emotional energy to endeavour your emotional battles. Almost all of our battles in life belong to the emotional sphere. How you respond to what people think about you, how they judge you, how they speak wrong about you, disobedience of your children, job pressure, financial struggles, unsupportive spouses, unfair bosses, being considered as unworthy by loved ones, separations, rejections, heart piercing words you hear from others and many other emotional battles that cannot be fought in the physical realm but in the emotional realm require a lot of emotional energy.
If you keep allowing these battles to strike a hole in your emotional energy tank, then all your emotional energy will be drained out. Many people are emotionally drained out as they have invested on emotional attacks. You should not allow the emotional battles to leak out of your emotional energy tank as you need it to fight over the real battles of life. Do not waste your emotional energy on unnecessary battles. As I mention constantly, many people tend to fight the wrong battles. If you intend to become a doctor, sitting in the music class will not prepare you to become a doctor. If you intend to become a cricketer being at the football ground will not make you a cricketer. You must understand where you must invest your emotional energy.
Do not waste it on weeds, rather use it to conquer heavy battles in life which result in great achievements. As I always say, focus on the cultivation and not on the stray dogs who bark at you from outside the gate. You and I cannot afford to waste our emotional energy on unnecessary battles. The moment we allow such unnecessary battles to prick a hole in our emotional energy tank, it lets that powerful resource to leak astray unnecessarily towards the gutters.
Previously, people used to talk bad about me due to my unpleasant past and now they talk bad about me as I am successful. There will always be a group of people who will be against you regardless of if you are victorious or struggling. Your focus should be on preserving your emotional energy. Focus on your dreams, ignore whatever attacks you and steals your emotional energy. Train your mind to be content, self-appreciative and self-motivated rather than craving for external appreciation and extrinsic motivation. The more you become vulnerable and susceptible to emotional attacks the more you will be emotionally damaged just as a person who is severely damaged due to an accident.
The world is full of emotionally damaged and mentally paralysed people as they constantly crave for external validation from others above self-acceptance. It is important to know what others think of us as it helps us to evaluate the areas that we may have not seen in us. Nevertheless, depending on the acceptance of others is indeed poisonous. Similar to the concern you have on the food that you consume you ought to be seriously aware of the thoughts and emotions that penetrate your mind. Opening your mind gate is purely under your custody.
You could either choose to open the gate or keep it shut and ignore their appeal from entering you. Will you ever open your door to someone who knocks at your door saying that he has a loaded gun in hand and he is at your door to shoot you? Will you ever eat the food your enemy gives you saying that it has been poisoned? Then why would you open your mind gates to negative thoughts and emotions that have the capability of damaging you emotionally and stealing away your peace? Train your mind, eyes and ears to ignore the wrong battles. Place your dreams way above your ego. Your dreams should certainly be above your ego.
To purchase the book “The Art of Bouncing Back” visit Sarasavi,
MD Gunasena and Expographics Bookshops Comments – 0774 88 5656 /
www.philipnehri.com /
e-mail: philipnehri.m@gmail.com
HitAd.lk is the best and biggest mobile phone market in Sri Lanka, and we guarantee you will find what you need here from our extensive listing of mobile phones for sale in Sri Lanka. Whether it’s a budget-priced smartphone for communication, or higher end features with advanced connectivity, there are many different options from which to choose from on our site!