5th Column

My dear Dhammika,

I thought of writing to you this week since you seem to be the focus of attention everywhere, ever since you made an appearance at the ill-fated convention of the ‘pohottuwa’ party last week. Seeing you there, seated in the front row appears to have set off a flurry of rumours and speculation.

We can understand why seniors in the ‘pohottuwa’ party are jealous and angry. They toiled long and hard, singing the praises and defending the actions of the ‘R’ clan for many years. Yet, they are hidden away in the back rows and there you are, a ‘Johnny-come-lately’ seated smugly at the front.

That got tongues wagging. Most of us couldn’t even remember whether you are still a Member of Parliament. Questions were asked. Why are you, a mere backbencher and not even a minister, seated up front, right next to Namal baby with Basil seated just one seat away, people wondered.

Pardon me, Dhammika, but what happened next confused us and we remain confused still. Most people interpreted your presence in that front row as being a ‘signal’ that you would be the ‘pohottuwa’ candidate at the next presidential election which has to be held sometime next year.

I am not sure whether all this speculation rattled Uncle Ranil as well. His loyal and faithful servant Vajira was present at the convention and would have had a word in his boss’s ear. Maybe that is why Uncle Ranil put the word out, after so many months, that he too intended to contest the big election.

As if on cue, the media was full of headlines about your candidacy. Some say that you may also have a hand in spreading that story. That only led to a quick denial from Sagara, that chap who calls himself the secretary of the ‘pohottuwa’ camp. That must have been a big letdown for you.

That denial lasted just a few days. Soon after, the same Sagara who denied you were a candidate tells a media conference that your name is among 4 potential presidential candidates. He didn’t say who the other three candidates are, but this confusion is becoming infectious in the ‘pohottuwa’ camp.

I say so because just the other day, Mahinda maama issued a statement complaining about the high taxes, saying it was driving professionals out of the country. It was only a few weeks ago that he himself voted to increase the VAT. So, no wonder people make unkind remarks about his memory.

To get back to your situation, I am sure you must be loving all the attention you get because you don’t get that kind of satisfaction just by being a businessman. If I remember right, there was a similar buzz when you first entered Parliament when some even expected you to become Prime Minister.

I know you are an astute businessman, Dhammika, but I am not sure whether you are a clever politician. That is because you seem to be getting so readily carried away by all the hype that the ‘pohottuwa’ chaps generate around you. Then, you dig deep into your pockets and help them out too.

I don’t know whether you have realised this by now, but the ‘pohottuwa’ is not really a political party though it masquerades as one. In reality, it is a family-owned company formed for the purpose of ensuring that the ‘R’ clan rules us – and if they can’t, they are safe until they await their next turn.

What that really means is that no one without the ‘R’ name will be allowed to take over the leadership of the ‘pohottuwa’ – or the country for that matter, whether the rest of the party like it or not. You must therefore think long and hard when Basil dangles this ‘presidential candidate’ carrot before you.

There can only be two reasons why you are being propositioned. Firstly, it could be because they know (and we know too), that the chances of the ‘pohottuwa’ winning the next big election is as good as Uncle Ranil giving up the Green party leadership. So, you are being chosen to be sacrificed.

Namal baby is not the smartest politician around, but even he knows that any ‘pohottuwa’ candidate will be doomed at the next election. So, rather than spoil his CV (like what Sajith did), the ‘R’ clan will want you to contest. You are also able to bear the cost, so it saves them some money too!

Secondly, the ‘R’ clan are still uncertain whether Uncle Ranil will run the race and even if he does, whether he will go along with them. By floating the idea that the ‘pohottuwa’ have you as an alternative option, they are trying to ensure Uncle Ranil will ask for their support, if he is contesting.

Think about all this, Dhammika, before you begin to write blank cheques to the ‘pohottuwa’ party in anticipation of high returns. You may be the biggest tycoon in the country but this is not an election for Sri Lanka Cricket which money can buy. This is a race where you are just the ‘spare wheel’!

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS: The chap who produced his ‘peniya’ during Covid was also Dhammika. While that Dhammika, unqualified charlatan though he was, was able to hoodwink the entire ‘pohottuwa’ government into believing him, the ‘pohottuwa’ seems to be able to hoodwink the ‘smart’ businessman Dhammika!