Appreciations
View(s):An epitome of gentle goodness, she was snatched away from us too soon
Sunethra Wijegoonawardena
My first cousin, Sunethra whom I knew from the day she was born, was a gentle and beautiful angel amidst us. She spread her love, compassion and generosity, towards all those who came within her purview, regardless of class, caste, creed, ethnicity, nationality etc. She bestowed her love and kindness with no fuss, fanfare or any expectation in return.
Sunethra was a fragrant blossom of pure goodness, that was snatched away from us, too quickly and with no warning. A few days prior to her death, in her own inimitable way she hosted a dinner party together with her husband, to celebrate the birthdays of both her daughter and sister-in-law. A large group of friends and relatives gathered in their beautiful home and garden and enjoyed their wonderful hospitality. Sunethra mingled amidst the gathering making sure that everyone was well cared for. After the delightful evening everyone bade good bye and left.
Just three days later, Sunethra passed away in the intensive care unit of a Colombo hospital, leaving all those who knew her and those who attended the party in total shock. Almost a thousand people gathered at Kanatta for her funeral, which was held soon afterwards, (in keeping with her wishes). It gave people barely enough time to comprehend what had happened, but several family members from Australia and the UK dropped everything and took the first available flight to Sri Lanka and just made it in time for the funeral.
It was an intensely sad irony that those very same people who only a few days previously enjoyed the double birthday celebration, gathered in the very same home and beautiful garden to partake of the traditional meal following the funeral. It was a heart wrenching reminder of Sunethra’s absence and the ever present and stark reality of death, that looms over all of us.
I could not bring myself to write an appreciation immediately following Sunethra’s death. It has taken me one year to bring myself to put thoughts into words.
As mentioned, I knew Sunethra all her life. She and her mother spent the first few months after her birth at my parents’ home in Colombo, (within reach of post-natal services), as their own home was in Dambadeniya, on an estate. I was nine at the time and my brother and I spent many hours playing with the baby that we all adored. She was so delicate that we called her “Laa baba”.
Sunethra was the gentlest and most soft-spoken person I have ever known. Never, ever, have I heard her speak ill of anyone, express anger towards another or utter a harsh word. Sunethra practised Buddha’s words on Right Speech, in its entirety and was a shining example in a world where harsh words and profanities have become all too common.
Sunethra’s compassion was boundless. Her faithful domestic aide, Kanthi, who served her for more than three decades wept when she told me that Sunethra was a goddess and not an employer. Following Kanthi’s heart operation, Sunethra had slept beside her and cared for her through the night, as she would have for her own child. She did not delegate it to another. “Is there an employer who has cared for an employee in this way?” sobbed Kanthi. This indeed was Sunethra’s practice of compassion in its purest form – boundless and universal.
In Sunethra’s acts of generosity and kindness, she was ably assisted and supported by her husband, Dr. Preethi Wijegoonawardena, who himself may be regarded as an epitome of those same virtues. They were a remarkable couple, who during the COVID lockdown, used the doctor’s car pass to visit sick relatives and deliver cooked food, in addition to the medical care and medicines that Preethi gave free to many of his patients.
Sunethra was a devout follower of the Buddha. She practised the Dhamma in her daily life, quietly, serenely and without any fanfare. She observed the Buddha’s prescription of Dana, Seela and Bhavana, (generosity, virtue and meditation) meticulously. She never talked about what she did. She practised the Dhamma quietly and lived by example. She was a regular attendee at Ven. Olande Ananda’s meditation classes. There was a time, as a teenager, when she even wanted to be ordained as a Buddhist nun. Thus, from a young age, the desire to follow Buddhist virtues was an integral part of her life and formed the basis of her every action which was devoid of any trace of anger, resentment, greed or jealousy. Rather her thoughts were guided by kindness, forgiveness and gentleness and a total lack of expectation in return.
Apart from being a wonderful wife, mother, friend and relative, Sunethra was gifted in the arts of home décor, gardening and Bonsai. She won many awards for her beautiful Bonsai creations, which required immense skill, artistic talent and infinite patience. Her Bonsais formed a part of her magnificent garden which she tended with loving care. Her beautifully designed home and garden blended harmoniously to form a wonderful space where she hosted both glittering dinner parties as well as great danas and all night pirith ceremonies.
For all those who knew Sunethra, her parting is a huge loss and personal shock. However, for Sunethra who understood the Buddha’s explanation of the inexorable law of anicca – impermanence, I dare say that this must indeed have been yet another life of virtue that she lived, in the inevitable cycle of samsara. Her son Indika, who flew from Australia just in time for the funeral, said to me at the funeral parlour, “this is anicca”. Her entire family, Preethi, Indika and Venya have been infused with this wisdom, which Sunethra knew all too well: her favourite pastime being listening to Dhamma talks.
No doubt her family is inspired by her exemplary life. They are so fortunate to have had her as their nearest family member. All of us who knew her are inspired by her life. We are privileged to have known and benefited from Sunethra’s great life of simplicity, generosity, virtue and wisdom, which touched the hearts of each and every one of us who knew her, in the most profound way.
May Sunethra attain the Supreme Bliss of Nibbana.
Anoja Wijeyesekera
We will hold on to our memories of our kind, generous and loving son
Vernon Glen Wambeek
Vernon Glen Wambeek was our eldest son, named after his father Vernon; however everyone knew him as Glen. He studied at Wesley College in Colombo where he ended up becoming a prefect. He was into various sports including rugby, cricket and athletics, in addition to being a Judo National Champion.
He also took part in school plays; his most memorable role was when he played Julius Caesar in a Shakespearean Drama Competition.
Glen moved to Australia in 1977 and started his career in the hotel industry, eventually opening up his own restaurant in Crows Nest known as the ‘Rangoon Racquet Club’. It was voted one of the top restaurants in New South Wales.
Glen married and became a father of two sons who he loved dearly; Glen Junior and Cameron. Glen was the proud Managing Director of the investment construction management business that he started in 1993. His business grew due to his astute judgment, intelligence and expertise. He was professional in the way he managed his business and was loved by both his staff and customers.
Glen loved the finer things in life, he spoilt not only himself but was generous to family and friends. His charm and conversational skills combined with his sense of humour were what contributed to his success in his business. His down to earth way of communicating with his clients made them feel comfortable. The many testimonials on his company website will attribute to the ease with which he managed his business.
Glen, along with his brothers, father and I, loved visiting Sri Lanka. He particularly enjoyed catching up with his old friends. He always made time to visit his grandparents’ graves to pay his respects no matter how hectic his schedule was.
My son was a hard worker; he worked tirelessly to build his company over 29 years. He also wanted to give back and was in a mentor programme at a local school. While he gained much satisfaction from his work and achievements, his pride and joy were his two sons. Losing Glen two years ago is a heartache that my husband Vernon and I have to bear. We will hold on to our memories of our kind, generous and loving son. We will miss him every day for the rest of our lives.
I would like to end this tribute with a quote from Robin Sharma that my son Beverly shared.
“When you were born, you cried while the world rejoiced. Son, live your life in such a way that when you die, the world cries – while you rejoice.”
This quote truly reflects Glen. All his relatives and friends sadly miss him but he is fondly remembered always.
Marie Wambeek
Her fragrance will linger though the bloom is no more
Padmakanthi Parathalingam
Padmakanthi Parathalingam died peacefully aged 91, surrounded by her children and relatives on February 4 at her ancestral home in Wijerama Mawatha, Colombo 7.
She was the wife of the late dashing Thiagalingam Parathalingam, and the daughter of the late Nagamma and Ratnasabapathy Doresamy. Her father, R. Doresamy, hailed from a distinguished Tamil ancestry that included Sir Ponnambalam Arunachalam and Sir Ponnambalam Ramanathan.
Padma was a dear sister to Tyagarajah, Leela, Visvadewa and Devi, all of whom are deceased.
She was a gracious lady, who was loved and respected by everyone who knew her.
In her heyday she was the belle of the ball with her charm and elegance.
Padma Parathalingam leaves behind six children and 12 grandchildren many of whom are successful lawyers, doctors, businessmen and accountants. She was also a much loved and devoted great grandmother to three little girls.
Her youngest daughter Ajita, died under tragic circumstances following a motor car accident many years ago.
She showered her children with unconditional love and all seven of them worshipped her.
The fragrance will linger but the bloom has gone.
Dr A. V. Wimalasingham (Son-in-law)
Seeya, your love is a compass that guides me
Linden De Silva Wijeyeratne
It’s hard to believe it’s been three months since you left us. The ache in my heart is still fresh, and I find myself thinking about you every day, reminiscing about the moments we shared and the lessons you taught me.
You were more than a Seeya to me; you were a friend, mentor, and source of unconditional love. Your wisdom was a guiding force in my life, shaping my values and aspirations.
I am grateful for the times we spent together—the rides to and from school, mandatory snacks after school, the shared Rambutan, Mangosteen, and Durian, and the quiet conversations that spoke volumes. Your kindness, patience, and the twinkle in your eyes are etched in my memory, providing comfort in moments of sorrow.
As I navigate life without you, I carry your legacy within me. Your strength in the face of adversity and the grace with which you embraced joy has become my inspiration. Your love is a compass that guides me, and your spirit is a comforting presence in my solitude.
Seeya, thank you for the profound impact you had on my life. Though the pain of your absence is deep, the love you gave continues to nurture me. Your lessons resonate in my choices, and your spirit lives on in the traditions we uphold.
I miss you dearly, your memory will forever be a cherished part of my life, and I am grateful for the love we shared.
Rest in peace, dear Seeya. You are deeply missed and eternally loved.
With love, Sulakna Isini
My father the visionary
Senerat Harischandra Jayasena
Affectionately known to his family as Chandra Aiya or Chandra Maama, Senarath Jayasena, my father, passed away last April leaving behind a bereaved family, friends, employees and numerous others he had helped in the course of his productive and successful life.
He was born in Galle to A.K.D Jayasena and Esawathi Jayasena nee Nanayakkara.
Growing up as a young child, he had a reputation as a precocious and mischievous kid. His father worked in the provinces and before his return home for the weekend my father would clean up his act by Friday evening to avoid punishment.
After his early education in Galle at St. Aloysius’ College, he moved to Colombo to study at Royal College and lived with his maternal uncle in Thimbirigasyaya. During World War II the family lived in the relative safety of rural Galle while Colombo underwent Japanese bombardment.
After having been admitted to Ceylon University College, he had to drop out due to the sudden death of his father. As the oldest surviving son he took upon the responsibility of managing his father’s properties and being a father figure to his young siblings. That responsibility was carried through his entire life.
Subsequently he worked at the government factory and earned his professional qualifications as an engineer, as a member of the British Institute of Engineers.
Never one to conform to the security of middle class life, he got involved in left leaning politics. He never ran for public office but supported causes dear to his heart. Fair treatment of his employees was very important to him. He considered them partners rather than traditional employees.
Owing to his sense of adventure, he once travelled overland to Europe. I still remember getting a postcard he mailed from Kabul, when he was travelling through Afghanistan.This was 40 years before the Internet and cell phones, and we would not hear from him for weeks. As children we didn’t fully realize it, but this must have been extremely stressful for my mother.
In the late ’70s and ’80s he worked in West Africa where we visited him on an extended holiday. There he got interested in fish processing and exporting and on his return to
Sri Lanka, started his own business exporting seafood. After many years of struggle, failures and successes, he built a thriving business employing hundreds and acquired his own processing factory.
Later, he got interested in health supplements and the benefits of Nelli and started growing Nelli trees in Bibile. His goal was to process and market the fruit as a health supplement.
He had a wide ranging interest in music, literature and history.
As a parent, he left the day-to-day matters of raising us children to my mother. But from him we learned about different cultures and food. He introduced us to classical music and opera.
He had a large collection of records which he played at home, helping introduce us to a world of culture.
In contrast to me who always played it safe and exercised caution, my father was a visionary. He was also a thinker who took risks. Most times it paid off. When it didn’t he shrugged off the negative results easily.
If we have acquired any sense of social justice and fairplay as his children, we got that from our father. We inherited our values of kindness and empathy from our mother.
He never craved for creature comforts or fancy cars. However, he enjoyed a good drink of arrack or a beer in the evenings. For the last 30 years or so of his life he became a pescatarian, shunning meat.
He was not overly religious but he appreciated the philosophical teachings of the Buddha.
May he attain the supreme bliss of Nirvana.
Rohan Jayasena
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