5th Column

Aiyo Sirisena,

I suppose there is no better way to address you now, having heard your latest statement that you are aware of who masterminded the Easter Day terrorist attacks five years ago. Just when we think that you will fade away and that we will be safe from your antics, you keep returning like a bad smell!

To give you credit where it is due, you are a master of generating controversy using the element of surprise. This is what you did 10 years ago, telling us one day in the morning that you were still with Mahinda maama and then announcing in the afternoon that you will be contesting him for President!

Now, when the dust seems to have finally settled on the Easter attacks, at least until the next election, when someone promises to find the culprits responsible just like you, Gota maama and Uncle Ranil have all done, you choose to announce your startling revelations about this so-called ‘mastermind’.

Did it ever occur to you, Aiyo Sirisena, that what you are talking about is a matter of life and death? Even someone like you couldn’t have forgotten that 269 innocent people perished in the attacks and that life will never be the same again for the families of those innocent victims.

The manner in which you made that statement is also quite baffling. You could have given your revelation the importance it deserves by calling a press conference. Or else, you could have made a statement in Parliament. Instead, you choose a wayside ‘voice cut’ fronting a couple of microphones.

Everyone was aghast almost immediately. The obvious question they were asking was why you didn’t reveal what you did for five long years, and why you were making these revelations now? There were calls to interrogate you and even arrest you. Some lodged formal Police complaints against you.

The next day, you returned with a clarification. You only got to know this vital information three weeks ago, you claimed. One would have thought that you would say so when you first made your claim but you didn’t. That is why this sudden recall of a three-week period seems very convenient!

Some ask why you waited for three weeks to spill the beans when you could have done so on the very day you had information about this alleged ‘mastermind’. Only you can answer that. I suppose you could still be charged for concealing evidence, because you did so, even if it is only for three weeks.

Such a lapse of judgment is surprising because it was you who first appointed a committee to probe the attacks. You then appointed a Special Presidential Commission. Unfortunately for you, when that Commission finished its work and handed over their report, you were no longer the boss.

They reported their findings to the new boss, Gota maama and recommended that ‘criminal proceedings’ be initiated against you for negligence. That never happened. Instead, it was added to a long list of tasks that Gota maama was supposed to do but never got around to doing!

If you thought that the worst was over, you were wrong. The highest court in the land also found you negligent, ordering you to pay a hundred million rupees in compensation. You say you don’t have that kind of money. You can ask brother Dudley to pitch in and help out, now that rice prices are sky high!

Your record as a leader is unmatched. The same court that ordered you to pay 100 million rupees in compensation has also said you violated the Constitution during that ‘coup’ you staged. A pardon you granted to a murderer is under review. And, to think that you were voted in for ‘good governance’!

After your ‘mastermind’ revelations, you finally provided a statement to the Police. The Siddhalepa IGP is now in charge of the Police. He was also found fault with by the Commission you appointed. Action was recommended against him too. Is this the policy of ‘set a thief to catch a thief’ in action?

Five years on, the people of Paradise have all but given up about knowing the truth about the Easter attacks. Already, we have had two committees, one Commission and a court hearing. A foreign television network said it was a political stunt. Now you say you know who the ‘mastermind’ is.

Really, we know nothing new. People won’t believe what you say. They feel you are trying to get political insurance for yourself before the Blue party gets wiped out at the next election. Just when we thought Gota maama was our worst boss, you are giving him a good run for his money, Aiyo Sirisena!

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS: After the next election, you will have free time. You can follow Gota maama’s footsteps and write a book, calling it ‘The conspiracy to frame me for the Easter attacks’. With your ‘revelations’, it will sell better than ‘Janaadhipathi Thaaththa’. Then you can pay that 100 million rupees, Aiyo Sirisena!