It’s Okay not to be Okay
View(s):Certain changes in our life we go through, alter our mental health as well. They can be major or minor things. It affects different people in different ways. Just think of a significant life change you have encountered. It can be moving to a new house, break up of a relationship, loss of a beloved person in your life, or changing your school/entering a new university. These events bring a change to our monotonous lifestyle. Whilst some people handle it extremely well, others tend to fall apart. In psychiatry, we call it an ‘adjustment disorder’
Adjustment disorders are usually transient, arising one month from the onset of the change and usually do not exceed for more than six months. Features of adjustment disorders include low mood, anxiety, feeling of inability to cope, problems in planning ahead, and even rarely aggression and violence can be a feature. It means if you’ve been through a significant life change, it is normal for you to be having these symptoms! And the great thing about this is, you can pull yourself through!
Now when people go through a stressful event in their life and have trouble coping up with that grief, they are very quick to label it as ‘depression’. However, that is not the case all the time. Clinical depression includes certain physical and emotional symptoms such as changes in sleep patterns, appetite, energy, ones which you do not find in adjustment disorder. Depressive symptoms are more intense and severe. While it is important to identify these changes it is also important not to over-diagnose this as a severe mental illness.
So how can you help yourself when you undergo certain life changes? The first thing to do is to identify that you are going through a change in your life and for you to have a good insight about how you will handle the situation. Stressors are usually temporary and you learn to cope up with them with time if your mind is strong. Eating well, keeping up with your physical fitness, sleeping adequately fuels the recovery speed. Practice mindfulness, breathing exercises and meditation for relaxation. Avoid alcohol and substance use as people in such situations are susceptible to substance abuse and addiction.
If you know a big life change is coming up, plan ahead in advance. Increase your healthy habits and don’t be hesitant to ask your family and friends for support. In Sri Lanka, we have big advantage of our family and loved ones having our backs most the times. Reminding yourself that such difficult situations pass in time and you are a capable person to get through it is important as well. Having competence in yourself is important.
Going into a completely new surrounding can be overwhelming to most people, especially for people with certain introvert personality traits. That is when the importance of graded exposure comes into play. Familiarising with new things one step at a time can reduce the feeling of overwhelm. For example, if you have moved to a new university, first try to be friends with your roommate, then try talking with your groupmate. I have personally experienced this when I first went to university. Everything seemed very new and it was very hard to adjust. Thankfully my roommates were a blessing in disguise and they helped me to get through university with ease.
Likewise, you will always find comfort in people. Talk to them about your worries. The same principle applies to bereavement reactions. It can be the loss of a loved one, or even a relationship. Early identification of pathological grief symptoms such as denial and addressing plays a crucial role. In an instance of a death, it is important to encourage to view the dead body and participate in funeral rites as it will help to get through the process.
If these stressful situations continue to be a part of your life ,interfering your social functions and performance or if you are getting suicidal thoughts or behaviours, it is important that you identify it and see medical help. Visiting a psychiatrist, they will provide you with the necessary care which will either include medication or individualised psychotherapy.
Life is a continuous process of change and adjustments. The only inevitable thing in life is change. How we deal and adapt to situations is important. Getting help from others at the right time is important. Mental health is equally important as physical health.
Priyanjalaa Sumanasekara
Faculty of Medicine,
University of Kelaniya.
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