The last time I saw Derek
June is said to be the beginning of winter in Melbourne, the Australian city where I spent several decades of my life working as GP.
The first week of June is when I always remember the last time I saw Derek – and the lesson he taught me.
At that time I was one of about ten doctors working in a busy clinic – almost all of us GPs, but with two specialists (one a surgeon and one a cardiologist) who would visit our clinic once a fortnight to provide consultations for our patients who needed specialist care.
Having been a surgeon myself before we migrated to Australia, I soon struck up a friendship with our surgeon Derek –a busy and successful specialist working not only at our clinic and a couple of private hospitals but also at one of Melbourne’s large public hospitals. Every other Thursday afternoon he would come to our clinic and use the consulting room next to mine to see his patients.
One evening (I remember as clearly as yesterday, it was the first Thursday in June at the beginning of winter) we had both finished seeing our patients earlier than expected, so we poured ourselves cups of tea and sat chatting in my consulting room. Now this was a rare occurrence, because Derek was always rushing off after he had finished seeing his patients to some hospital or another where he had a patient booked in for operation.
He told me enthusiastically that day of his plans to go on a long trip to Europe the following year with his wife – something they had wanted to do for many years but had put off until he reached the age of 65 and was able to retire from the consultant staff of the local public hospital. Derek’s wife had just obtained the brochures from the travel agent and had also borrowed the relevant Lonely Planet, Insight and Footprint books from the library – and they were both eagerly looking forward to spending three months the following year travelling through England, France, Italy and Germany during the European summer.
I will never forget that evening I spent with him.
The next time I saw Derek was in hospital just two months later – where he was an in-patient after having been diagnosed with metastatic pancreatic cancer. The disease had silently spread throughout his body while he was busy working as a surgeon, and by the time it was discovered neither surgery nor chemotherapy could control it. Derek died six months to the day that we had our Thursday evening conversation about his planned post-retirement holiday – a holiday that he never got the chance to take because he was so busy working.
What happened to Derek is not uncommon among many business and professional persons who concentrate so hard on their busy working lives. We tend to remain so focused on running fast along the relentless treadmill of life, concentrating on the day-to -day business and busy-ness of life that we postpone living in favour of working. Many of us are so busy working hard and working extra hours, creating wealth and accumulating savings for the future that we sometimes tend to forget just how uncertain life is.
As a result we just don’t allow ourselves the opportunity of enjoying the legitimate fruits of our labours. You cannot postpone living until the bank balance is built up and you have achieved the pinnacle of success in your field – because life is so unpredictable. By the time you reach retirement age you will not be as fit and healthy as you were in your thirties and forties!
I have realised over the years that we should set aside time to enjoy life – taking time to be with our families, to travel, to do the things that we have wanted to do “one day”. Otherwise the years will flash past and we will become too old – or too dead – to do these things.
One of the best bits of advice I received when I was younger was from my friend and mentor Dr Buddy Reid – surgeon, sportsman and musician – who first told me about the Rule of Threes.
“Set aside three hours every week, three days every month and three weeks every year to take time off your routine work,” Buddy told me. “Use this time to do something you really enjoy – listening to music, reading a book, playing a game or spending quality time with your loved ones.”
Remembering the last time that I saw Derek I have come to realise that life is too short – and too unpredictable – to postpone living.
Associate Professor Sanjiva Wijesinha MBBS (Ceylon) MSc (Oxford) FRCS (Edin) FRACGP is the author of Tales From my Island (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Tales-Island-Stories-Friendship-Childhood-ebook/dp/B00R3TS1QQ
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