5th Column

My dear Basil,

I thought of writing to you after hearing you speak at a ceremony in Kalutara last week to ‘felicitate’ ‘Raththaran’ Rohitha’s 27 years in politics. The important people gathered there were an interesting bunch. What they said – especially what you and Uncle Ranil said – was even more interesting.

Do you have any idea why Rohitha celebrated 27 years in politics? Is it because he is not sure whether he will last until his 28th year? Or, should we not be surprised because he also thought dollars came to our country in a ship? Mind you, he now chairs the Committee on Public Enterprises!

Still, Rohitha must be congratulated for ensuring a star-studded guest list. In the audience were three people who held the office of President and two who think they will do so someday. I am of course referring to Mahinda maama, Gota maama, Uncle Ranil, Dhammika and Namal baby.

You must be wondering why you are among my ‘want to be’ Presidents. That is because, after what happened to Gota maama, you would rather forego the Presidency to keep your American citizenship,  just as much as Wanindu Hasaranga will forego the captaincy to retain his tattoos and unruly hairstyle.

I am not sure whether you noticed it, Basil, but Uncle Ranil was having a lot of fun at the expense of the ‘pohottuwa’ chaps. First he said he had no choice but to get the ‘pohottuwa’s support after Gota maama left, hinting that he didn’t really like doing that, but he only did so for the sake of the country.

Uncle Ranil then said that, when he inherited Gota maama’s Cabinet, he didn’t think they were smart enough to address the challenges they faced. They remain his Cabinet today and, although Uncle Ranil now says he is satisfied with their performance, the people will judge that in a few months.

While Uncle Ranil was saying all this to a ‘pohottuwa’ audience with its leadership seated in the front row, all they could do was grin from ear to ear. You and the rest of the ‘R’ family did so, squirming uncomfortably in your seats. Did you think Uncle Ranil was sending a message to all of you, Basil?

I suppose what he was trying to tell you is that he is much smarter than all of you are – and come to think of it, he is not wrong. From being the only parliamentarian from his party he has become President with your blessings and is now luring your MPs away from you, one by one.

Let’s face it, Basil, the ‘pohottuwa’ which you built from scratch, is disintegrating. So many MPs are now ‘independent’ from the ‘pohottuwa’ that it is difficult to keep track of them. Many will join the ‘Artful Dodger’ Uncle Ranil, the ‘pickpocket’ who steals from you without you even realising it.

Some, like Lanza and Prasanna were your ardent fans until recently. Now they see no hope other than Uncle Ranil. Others don’t want to be seen on the same stage as the ‘R’ clan, thinking it will hurt their chances of re-election. Also, Uncle Ranil hasn’t still officially said whether he will contest.

You asked Uncle Ranil to convince at least a dozen ‘telephone’ chaps to cross-over to the Green side. That hasn’t happened. That is why you have to parade poor Dhammika in full suit at these gatherings implying that he could be the ‘pohottuwa’ candidate. Dhammika is really the ‘dummy eka’, isn’t he?

Remember the lightning rod or the piece of iron you throw out of a house during a storm so lightning strikes it – and not the occupants of the house? Dhammika is only the lightning rod for the house of the ‘R’ clan. If the ‘pohottuwa’ had the slightest chance of winning, he won’t be your candidate!

What you are worried about is not just losing the next election. It is the fact that even if Uncle Ranil wins with your support, he will take whoever remains in the ‘pohottuwa’ to his side. That is not impossible considering that even people such as Mahindananda and SB are singing his praises now.

If that happens, the ‘pohottuwa’ will only be left with the ‘R’ clan and a handful of others such as your ‘golaya’, Sagara. This is also why young Namal is desperately arguing that you should break ranks with Uncle Ranil now. You worry about the next election, he worries about the next generation.

You did suggest to Uncle Ranil that the best option is for him to go for a general election but without his Green party being ready, he doesn’t want to do that. He has already said the Cabinet given to him  by Gota maama was not the best. He doesn’t work with the same people for another five years.

It is silly for Sagara to say the ‘pohottuwa’ can support Uncle Ranil if he obtains party membership. Uncle Ranil  gave up chances to contest the big election to protect his place in the Green party, so that won’t happen. The real threat is, many in the ‘pohottuwa’ may become members of the Green Party!

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS: At Kalutara, you told Uncle Ranil you didn’t owe him anything, nor were you afraid of him (‘nayath ne, bayath ne’). We all know that is not true, Basil, but the entire nation is now ‘nayai, bayai’ or in debt and in fear – in debt to the rest of the world and fearing that elections will not be held!