5th Column

My dear Deshabandu,

I thought I should write to you at this difficult time when you have been told to step away from the top job in the khaki uniform. Being the respectful and law-abiding citizen that you are, I hope you will respect that order, and stay away from duties though some desperately want you to stay in your job.

Honestly, Deshabandu, I always thought your campaign to become the top cop was disaster prone. To begin with, it seemed as if even Uncle Ranil wasn’t too keen to have you in that job at first. That is why he kept extending the term of your predecessor ‘CD’, sometimes a few weeks at a time.

Maybe that was because you were very close to the ‘R’ clan when they ruled the waves and waived the rules. Or it may be that, being an astute judge of men, Uncle Ranil felt something was not quite right when he had a look at your CV. After all, that did contain some controversial items, didn’t it?

First, there was that Presidential Commission inquiring into the Easter Day attacks. They found that you failed to perform your duties properly. The Katuwapitiya church which was attacked is in an area which came under your watch then. You didn’t do enough to prevent the attacks, they said. 

There was also the incident on May 9 two years ago. We saw you with the late Sanath while a mob of people marched towards ‘Gota Go Gama’ at Galle Face. You did nothing to stop what was about to happen. Some say you never wanted to. The rest is history now. You became a suspect in that case.

The ‘aragalaya’ was not a good time for you. Even after it ended, you were called upon to explain what happened to the 17 million rupees that Gota maama had forgotten to take with him when he had to hurriedly flee. In both these ‘aragalaya’ cases, you obtained court orders that protected you.

Uncle Ranil finally chose you in an ‘acting’ role for the top job. What an award winning performance it was! The ‘Yukthiya’ operation was on. Paradise will be drug-free in a few months, you said. Your critics say its only aim was to make you permanent. Thousands were detained, but not the king-pins.

Then, the highest court in the land found you guilty of violating the fundamental rights of a person by overseeing his unlawful detention and the application of ‘Siddhalepa’ in a way that wasn’t  prescribed. Many felt that will end your chances of becoming the top cop. Yet, defying all odds, you got the job.

You seemed to have finally impressed Uncle Ranil. He forwarded your name to the Council in the House by the Diyawanna Oya to make you permanent. That was the final hurdle that you had to clear. They didn’t endorse you unanimously. Some abstained. You couldn’t get a majority of the votes.

That is when the one who Speaks in that Council came up with an ingenious mathematical ‘jilmart’ of his own. He counted those who abstained as voting against you allowing him to cast his tie-breaking vote. No wonder they say ‘politics is the art of the possible’ and that ‘if there is a will, there is a way’!

When your matter came up in the highest court, your lawyer pleaded that you were indispensable. He said that, as the big election is around the corner, you must be in your job. Strange, isn’t it, that we can have an Acting President but not an Acting IGP?  That too didn’t sway the decision in your favour.

You have been told to step aside while your matter is being heard. Some say ‘what goes around, comes around’. You must be disappointed but I’m sure we haven’t heard the last of you as there are people willing to disregard the court and interpret the Constitution differently to keep you in the job!

We heard the Kitten from Boralugoda, the heir of the Boralugoda Lion, meowing and urging the one who Speaks to order that the decision from Hulftsdorp should be disregarded. The one who Speaks didn’t rise to the bait, perhaps fearing contempt charges. He deftly passed the buck back to the courts!

That raises another interesting possibility. We saw that fundamental rights cases and constitutional amendments failed to postpone elections. Someone should rush to the courts now saying that without you, the election cannot be held and ask for a postponement. Who knows, that may work!

There is speculation about who should ‘act’ for you. Your second in command Nilantha was sent on compulsory leave recently. The Police is like our cricket team: captains are changed or suspended on disciplinary grounds so frequently. Now, it is likely you will be without a captain for some time.

You may not see this as the end of the road but don’t be too optimistic. That is because your case will take a few months to be heard. Who knows who will be in charge by then? There is another option: You can run for a seat in Parliament. Ask the ‘Pohottuwa’. You fit all their criteria, Deshabandu!

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS: It was you who launched ‘Yukthiya’. Some say it is only now that ‘Yukthiya’ has  been done. This decision must be quite a headache for you. More headaches will be in store as the case proceeds. What can we say, Deshabandu, except try some ‘Siddhalepa’ yourself, and I don’t need to tell you where!