5th Column

My dear Anura sahodaraya,

I thought of writing to you even though you are very busy criss-crossing the country for campaign rallies and launching a manifesto before any of the ‘main’ contenders did. That is  because I have written to Uncle Ranil, Sajith and young Namal recently and it would be unfair not to write to you.

I am also writing to tell you Anura sahodaraya, that I am very disappointed after listening to all those speeches you make at these rallies. You are always blaming the ‘R’ clan, Uncle Ranil, Sajith and even young Namal for the mess that we are all in as a country. I feel that you are being very ungrateful.

Take Uncle Ranil, for example. You blame him for what he does, such as appointing Deshabandu as the IGP and appointing Harin and Manusha as advisors when they are sacked as MPs. You also blame him for what he doesn’t do, such as not appointing an acting IGP and not holding local elections.

Then, Uncle Ranil surrounds himself with the leaders of the ‘pohottuwa’ such as Mahindananda, Rohitha, and ‘Kappam’ Prasanna. They are the epitome of the regime the people ousted during the ‘aragalaya’. When someone who was once ‘Mr Clean’ does that, what more help do you need?

Uncle Ranil is also stealing the leading lights of the ‘telephone’ party. First, it was Rajitha, who is so worried about you that he is threatening overseas-based Lankans who wish to vote. Thalatha is also now on the way, we hear. By depleting votes in the ‘telephone’ camp, isn’t he helping you in the end?

Uncle Ranil has followed the footsteps of all the living past presidents by being found guilty by the highest court in the land, though that was in his capacity as Finance Minister. He has given you so much to talk about and criticise. Your popularity has risen as a result. So, aren’t you being ungrateful?

You criticise Sajith too, after he has done so much for you. He provides shelter to political refugees such as GL, Dullas and Nalaka and places them on a pedestal, creating discontent in his own team. As a result, we still don’t know whose economic policies they follow, Harsha’s or Nalaka’s?

Sajith accepts anyone who joins him, so we have rivals Champika and Rishad as well as Arjuna and Thilanga in the same team. To top it all, he has Tissa falsely accusing Harini about the ‘perahera’ and Digambaram losing the plot on television. With rivals like these, you don’t need any friends!

Just when you think it can’t get any better for you, Sajith goes around saying he will usher in another ‘Premadasa era’. Maybe he hasn’t realised that people are trying their best to forget those times, just as much as you are doing your best to make people forget the dark days of ’88-’89, sahodaraya!

You are scathing in your criticism of young Namal too. You must be kind to him after all that he has done for you, just by contesting. He could have kept away after Dhammika who was supposed to be the ‘dummy eka’ got cold feet. What an asset he has been to you since he began campaigning!

Young Namal’s main disciples are Johnston and Tissakutti, possibly more out of necessity than choice because everyone else has decamped to Uncle Ranil’s camp. They make fiery speeches on young Namal’s behalf. All you need to do is to then enjoy the sight of voters recoiling away from them.

Perhaps it is a trait born out of being a president’s son but, like Sajith, Namal too says he will continue from where Mahinda maama left. Maybe no one told him that the ‘R’ name is not the most sought after surname in the country now after so much of impunity, corruption and racism was linked to it.

While campaigning, you also always hark back to the days when the ‘R’s ruled the waves and waived the rules. Shouldn’t you be more grateful to them instead of criticising them? After all, if not for the collective misdeeds of Mahinda maama, Basil and Gota maama, you wouldn’t be where you are now!

Namal is stealing votes that would have gone to Uncle Ranil. Uncle Ranil is stealing votes that would have been cast for Sajith. As Thalatha pointed out, Green voters are torn between Uncle Ranil and Sajith. So, Uncle Ranil, Sajith, Namal and the ‘R’ clan – are all working tirelessly for your benefit.

You are being very ungrateful when you criticise all these people who are desperately trying to help you. At least in the remaining few weeks please be kind to all of them, they are your biggest allies in this race. Think about it Anura sahodaraya, or, as you often like to say, ‘kalpanaa karala balanda’!

Yours truly

Punchi Putha

PS: This race is not won until the last vote is counted, though the current ‘wave’ suggests a favourable outcome for you. You may, however, need a gag order on Lal and Sunil, they have a knack for undoing all the good you do.  Still, there is hope because the side Tissa is on has never won a presidential poll!