5th Column

My Dear Uncle Ranil and Sajith,

I am writing to both of you as 2024 comes to an end because it has been a horrible year for you both.  Uncle Ranil, you were sent out of office this year and Sajith, you weren’t voted into office despite being Leader of the Opposition. To cap it all, both of you have been caught out by the National List!

It is bad enough that both of you had to lose two national elections in less than two months, and that Anura sahodaraya ran away with all the spoils. What is worse is then having to pick and choose just a few  people for the National List which leaves you with more enemies than friends in your own party.

Uncle Ranil, this ‘National List’ was originally your uncle JR’s idea when he brought his Constitution. He said he wanted to get those who distinguished themselves in other ways, but didn’t want to contest elections, into Parliament. Of course, JR being JR, we know that he doesn’t always mean what he says.

Sajith, it was your father who introduced the 14th Amendment in Parliament that allowed parties to ignore the original National List submitted by them and nominate candidates defeated at the elections instead. It is funny how such issues return, years later, to take its toll on the next generation, isn’t it?

Sajith, you took the time of the House last week to show-off all your educational certificates and your birth certificate. To that, you could have added another qualification, that of making the National List, an ‘International List’. You included British Diana who had to depart but hasn’t been deported yet!

Uncle Ranil, I am disappointed with you. You told us that experience was the key to running a country and that is why we shouldn’t vote for the ‘maalimaawa’ because they didn’t have that experience. We now realise that there may be some truth in that but your experience also seems to be deserting you.

Where was your experience when you allowed Ravi to run away one of your two National List slots? Shyamila, that Secretary of the ‘gas cylinder’ party says Ravi loaned his party and its symbol on the condition that he gets a seat. Surely, you didn’t expect Ravi to do so from the goodness of his heart?

After Ravi ran away with one National List seat, you did what you usually do, Uncle Ranil. You appointed a committee to inquire into what happened. While that committee was probing Ravi’s shenanigans, you were getting ready to appoint young Kanchana to the other remaining slot.

Imagine our surprise when Shyamila announces once again that she has sent off Faiszer’s name for the remaining vacancy! The Greens were livid at this turn of events and to add insult to injury, the Blue party to which Faiszer belongs is saying they will have nothing to do with you at the next election.

So, the ‘gas cylinder’ MPs are now Rohitha and Anuradha from the ‘pohottuwa’, the Blue party’s Chamara and Faiszer, Jeevan from the Congress and, and Ravi who is at war with most Greens and is a ‘rogue’ elephant. Congratulations, Uncle Ranil, you have again reduced the Greens to just one MP!

Sajith, you haven’t done much better either. You had five National List slots to distribute. Madduma Bandara, unlike his historical namesake, didn’t believe in sacrificing himself. He took a leaf out of Ravi’s book and nominated himself. That left you with four vacancies – and a dozen aspirants.

That was when you again displayed the characteristic you have been consistent with: being indecisive or, as they say, ‘aasayi bayayi’. Instead of quickly filling the slots, you dilly-dallied, allowing people time to give ‘voice cuts’ staking their claims. One, Indunil, threatened suicide if he wasn’t appointed!

While this was going on, Rauff, the manipulator that he is, got a court order preventing you from filling the list unless his man was on it. Apparently, you had an agreement with your partner parties to that effect. You were forced to comply, leaving you with just one slot for the ‘telephone’ chaps.

This meant that, from almost a dozen contenders that included Imthiaz, Eran, Hirunika, Sujeewa, Tissa, not to mention the heavyweight ‘imports’ Dullas and GL, you had to pick just one. Of course, that didn’t endear you to the rest of them. Some of them now say that you have ‘gone bananas’!

Most of them have their pluses and minuses, but I do feel for Imthiaz. A rare gentleman remaining in your ranks, he could have contested from Kalutara and polled more than those chaps Ajith and Jagath. Being over three score years and ten, if he retires now, it will be your loss.

So, Uncle Ranil and Sajith, you do have something in common: this National List business has been a disaster for both of you. I can only wish that 2025 will be a better year for you. If there is a lesson to be learnt from the year that is ending it is, “united we stand, divided we fall”. Don’t you agree?

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha

PS: Uncle Ranil, you have a keen taste for literature and will be familiar with the works of Oscar Wilde. I can’t help but wonder whether he had your experience with the National List in mind when he famously said: “to lose one maybe regarded as misfortune, to lose both looks like carelessness”!