APPRECIATION
View(s):Thank you for the 75 years of friendship
Dr. Disampathy Subesinghe
Disampathy Subesinghe affectionately called Subba by his very large circle of friends passed away in Sri Lanka on January 17, after a brief illness.
Subba was a remarkable person imbued abundantly with great intellect and the noble qualities of charity, compassion, kindness and magnanimity. A guiding principle that characterised his entire life was prominently displayed by him on his bookshelf at his home in Dawson Road –
Honour and fame from no condition arise,
Act well your part and there all the honour lies.
Subba attended Royal College and was an embodiment of its spirit and culture. True to its watchword ‘Disce Aut Discede’ (Learn or Depart), he “learned of books and men and learned to play the game.”
Due to a physical condition, Subba was unable to actively participate in College sporting activities, but enthusiastically supported them. I remember him travelling to Kandy by train to watch the Royal-Trinity rugger match and staying with me at the Peradenya campus. At the match he cheered vociferously for Royal and shouted out instructions to the players. Royal won the match and retained the Bradby Shield. Subba seemed to think that his spirited support and instructions to the players in some way contributed to the Royal victory.
Subba entered Royal College in 1949 and was an active member of the 49 Group. It has been my pleasure and privilege to have known him since 1949, for 75 years, a very large part of our lives. I subsequently came to know his mother, brother Nyanis, sister Thiami, and later her husband Amban and John. I benefited immeasurably from the advice I always received from Subba and his mother. His home was always open to me and was my second home.
Subba entered Medical College around 1958 and after graduation served in many hospitals in Sri Lanka, including in Kurunegala. I clearly remember this as he arranged a consultation for me with a specialist physician at that hospital. After a few years of service, he migrated to the United Kingdom, initially served as a Registrar and thereafter as a Consultant Paediatrician in Leeds.
He married Srima, the love of his life, his contemporary at Medical College and his colleague at the Kurunegala Hospital whom he adored. Srima tragically and prematurely passed away following surgery in 2000. Though her death was due to a surgical misadventure and Subba no doubt, was severely affected, he gracefully and magnanimously accepted her loss with no malice, blame or anger with the noble qualities that characterised his life. It was known by his friends, or at least by me, that Subba who was inseparable from Srima relied heavily on her, and could do ‘nothing’ on his own without her help and advice. But philosophically he accepted her loss and was resilient enough to be able to gradually get on with life without Srima, as best as he could. Subba and Srima had two children, Samitha and Amali whom I have the pleasure of knowing. Subba no doubt was proud of his two children and grandchildren, Zain and Arran.
He was a great Buddhist. I remember him while at Royal going regularly to the Vajiraramya Temple. But later in life, he was not a Buddhist in the traditional sense of going to temple and offering flowers, but deep into Buddhist philosophy and principles and widely read on all aspects. He dissected and critically analysed and evaluated the literature he read and practised Buddhism in its true sense.
He returned to Sri Lanka from Leeds about six years ago and due to health and other reasons decided to stay on. He was a great benefactor to many charitable and educational causes both individual and institutional, the number of which may never be known. One such institution he helped was a school for the deaf and dumb in Anuradhapura that I visited with him once while in Sri Lanka. These children walked many miles to attend school, and were grateful for the opportunity to gain an education supported by Subba. Despite his own health issues, he continued to give medical and other advice to the many who sought his help, friends and strangers alike.
Subba always insisted that my daughter, Prasanthi and I stay with him on our visits to Sri Lanka. On one occasion I remember how he was eagerly awaiting our arrival from the Airport about midnight, standing alone at the entrance on the ground level of his apartment. For how long he had waited, I really do not know. During my stay, I remember the many interesting discussions we had on sports, political, religious and philosophical topics. He was very knowledgeable on a vast range of subjects.
Apart from his great hospitality, care and friendship, my stay with him was a spiritual experience and awakening. Prasanthi and my niece Meera who got to know Subba in their adult lives were amazed by how exceptional a person he was. They thought the world of him.
In the later years of his life his interests were not limited to just reading, but critically analysing and evaluating the literature he read. Another great interest was watching sports, particularly cricket on which he had an encyclopaedic knowledge.
I cannot fail to thank Vamadevan and especially Upul for taking care of my friend.
Subba’s death is a great loss, and I will miss him more than words can adequately express, but his memory and noble qualities will live in my heart forever. I am thankful for the 75 years of friendship we shared and the many happy times together.
I convey my deepest sympathies and condolences to his children, Samitha and Amali, their spouses Nina and Iain, grandchildren Zain and Arran, his brother Nyanis, his wife Kusum and children, brother-in-law Ambanpola, his daughter Lilanthi, her husband Stephen, and all other members of Subba’s family.
May Subba attain Nirvana.
V. Wijayaratnam (Viper)
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