Appreciations
View(s):A life well lived
Rohini de Mel
“Aunty Ro” was the daughter of my grandfather, Sir Henry’s youngest brother F. B. de Mel. My earliest memories were of her friendship with my parents. I remember her taking my young brother and I along with her nieces to Galle Face Green when my parents were abroad; cycling with my male cousins and her on a Saturday morning.
My mother used to assist her in her studio at Horton Place. She specialised in child photography. My mother and she went on trips within the country with my Indian uncle Peter Joseph and our Burmese friends Mavis Kyaw Ban, Daisy Gyaw and her son Hla Tun Gyaw. She also introduced Mummy to Ruby Robinson for a course in photography in London. Ruby whom I met with Aunty Ro in Norbury, UK in 1967 was an assistant to the famous Madam Yevonde whom Aunty Ro worked with in her studio in London. As children we dropped in during the lunch hour at her studio with its lovely ornaments and her daschund Dottie, to collect my mother.
On our way to school we saw Aunty Ro on her horse Lady James cantering down Gregory’s Road. She also used to drop by our home riding Lady James. We watched her play polo at the Racecourse and for my 16th birthday where I had a band and 100 teenagers to a party, she stayed upstairs with my parents and when she came down, tried her hand at the drums!
When I was 16 she introduced a band of teenagers to Moral Re-Armament (now known as Initiatives of Change) when the Four Tune Tellers (Bill Parker, David Allen, Ted Colville and Robbie Wada) came to Colombo and visited schools. A conference was held at the Scout Headquarters near the Beira Lake bordering the Army headquarters and she co-opted us to work for the country and gave us a vision of what our lives could mean.
When I went to the Continent and the UK to connect with the cast of a musical “India Arise” (comprising 30 different nationalities)”, she accompanied us and steered me through homesickness and adjusting to life in a foreign country. We were very young.
Later on in life she influenced me to play golf saying that I was bone-lazy being in bed at six o’clock and introduced me to the SLAS (Sri Lanka/American) Book Club, which I so enjoy.
Her life was varied in every way and her devotion to going to church every Sunday never faltered. During a challenging time in the sixties she ferried two young ladies to address political meetings for the UNP.
In later years she took delegations to Panchgani, Maharashtra, India and Caux, Switzerland to the Initiatives of Change centres and gave so many a vision of a world beyond Sri Lanka and how they could contribute with a way of life.
Villa de Mel was open house to so many and people of all ages came by for lunch, meetings, solace or just for a chat. She helped many in different ways. At one time to assist a cousin financially, she got her to conduct cookery classes for some of us. We also went on several birdwatching trips with Quickshaws every month and had some lovely adventures in the unspoilt countryside.
I recollect her travelling to the North during the war years on an intelligence mission on behalf of the Government along with Penelope Willis and being accosted by the LTTE on the A9 road. She sat in the back of the car wearing a cap and was not recognised as a Sinhalese. When they got to their destination, the LTTE came to check on them again and she was in the shower and again avoided detection. Willis was kidnapped on a subsequent visit in 1986 by the LTTE and was finally released with Indian intervention.
She encouraged my writing skills and was my choice of chief guest at the launch of my first publication “Tales from the Mara”.
During the war years when I lived with her, we along with other residents of Horton Place organised a civil defence committee as suggested by the Cinnamon Gardens Police in case the road was attacked. We made so many friends down the road and even went carol singing. The American Ambassador at the time, James Spain said “we had lifted his spirits” as he had just come back from a meeting on the situation in the country with the powers at the time.
I kept in touch during her twilight years and we lunched at each other’s homes. She so enjoyed the Burmese and Indian food that we cooked for her. When it got difficult for her to move from her home, I dropped in once a month and she always said “drop in like this, Prem”. In 2023, I was surprised when she remembered that I had just returned from the US and wanted to know about my trip. She also said “now Prem whom do we both know in MRA” and we went through the names of her friends. She always gave me a bright smile when she saw me.
At the dane given in her memory by Suvan de Soysa, the nun in charge of the St. Margaret’s Home told us that she would drop in from time to time to chat with the old ladies at the Home.
I am grateful for the role she played in my life and for widening my horizons.
May her soul be at peace and knowing her, she will certainly not be still. She will join the band of helpers on the other side in whatever sphere, assistance is required.
Premala de Mel
Our ‘chutta’ who went on to do big things in life
VIJAYA NIRANJAN PERERA
Vijaya was born a small baby, three and a half pounds to be precise. Our parents called him “chutta” and his siblings, chuttimalli or chuttaiya. He then set about doing vigorous exercises, weight lifting etc and became the tallest, strongest in the family. That was his first physical challenge.
Then at school, he was diagnosed with hearing loss. Hearing aids at the time were big and cumbersome and he didn’t like to wear them. He somehow persevered with this impediment and passed the university entrance to do a science degree. However, he surreptitiously changed for a law degree without our father’s knowledge. He got a lot of flak from him for that move.
Ironically, he sat the final of his law degree on the same day of our father’s funeral. Vijaya was shuttling between the funeral house and the examination hall in a depressed state. I don’t know how he did it but he passed the examination.
The day he took oaths, I accompanied him deputising for his father. He took his oaths, for the first time in Sinhala I believe, in front of Justice H.N.G. Fernando whom I knew personally. Justice Fernando was visibly amused, nodded to me and made a remark, that I cannot remember now.
Vijaya then went to Badulla to start his practice. I don’t know why he chose Badulla, but he had a very hard time setting up a practice. Despite a difficult start, he ended up being the number one lawyer there. He was the only President’s Counsel in the whole of the Uva Province.
He was also a journalist and poet. He wrote several books. The first was a book of Sinhala short stories he wrote whilst in school, followed by about 12 books in both Sinhala and English. He was equally eloquent in both the written and spoken language.
Vijaya was the life and soul of any party, a ‘must’ at a gathering or any trip, if it was to be a success. After a few drinks he would always give a very interesting speech and sing many songs, or rather I call it telling songs for he knew the words of every song of every generation. Such was his memory.
Vijaya was also a devout family man. He persuaded his graduate teacher wife to be a lawyer and got her to be his instructing attorney. He also encouraged his graduate executive daughter to become a lawyer and join him in his practice. His house at Badulla became a much sought out legal office with both wife and daughter in attendance. He also helped his son to achieve his ambition to become a pilot (now at SriLankan as a captain).
Vijaya had everything going for him and his family till tragic medical issues caused his demise.
Vijaya leaves a void that cannot be filled. Life for many of us will not be the same without him. Any future event will not be joyful as the very man who made it special will not be there. We will feel the loss with sadness.
Rest in peace, my brother.
Ananda M.N. Perera
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