My Dear Amma,

I thought of writing to you because many people are making various remarks about what you have done recently, and this is causing me a lot of problems.

You know, Amma, that when you sent those letters to Khaleda Zia and Sheikh Hasina through Mallo, you raised many eyebrows.

I know you have said that the letters were personal and not official and that therefore you could have sent them through anyone. I can't argue with you on that but I would have still preferred if you had sent them through one of our people - Kadi, for one, would have been only too happy to be the delivery boy!

Then, Amma, you took Mallo along with you to visit Sai Baba in India. I know Mallo needs all the exercise he can get to shed those extra pounds, but the two of you travelling together all the way to India is infuriating our people here. Surely, they ask me, won't they be discussing all our Cabinet secrets? There's no need to, I told them, because Mahinda will always tell Mallo if there are any "secrets" left!

And, now, because of all your dealings with Mallo, they want to know whether I am trying to form a national government with the greens!

Can you imagine what that would be like, Amma? Here I am, finding it hard to manage a coalition government and they want to know whether I'd like a national government! The next thing I know, the greens will have an Impeachment Motion against me by buying Mallo's friends in our camp and those Mulberry chaps. And, I know K.B. won't do what M.H. did to save me!

Amma, I'm already burdened with enough troubles - these newspaper chaps, for instance, are never the type to forgive and forget. Now they are reminding me that July 15th would be the first "anniversary" of my broken promise to end the Presidency. They even remembered my birthday - I didn't mind that, but they shouldn't have displayed so prominently the fact that I was 51, when I look so much younger....

And that reminds me, Amma since you are dealing so much with Mallo these days, isn't he also nearing fifty now? Shouldn't we take steps to keep the dynasty alive? Or else someone - one of these upstarts like C.V. or G.L. - could stake a claim for leadership, couldn't they? (Of course, a compromise that would still keep it in the family would be Anu, but I know you feel strongly about that....)

So, Amma, will you just let me know beforehand when you plan something with Mallo. Of course, with security being what it is, I won't be able to accompany you, but wouldn't Akka be a better chaperone than Mallo?

Yours truly,

Podi Doo.

PS - If you really want Mallo to be by your side, I could even offer him a portfolio: he is too old for Sports and Youth Affairs but I could still give him Transport and kill two birds with one stone....