An expression of sincere gratitude written in lighter vein to the wonderful staff of Gleneagles Hospital - who by their kindness - concern and attenton at all times made my stay pleasant, comfortable and truly unforgettable.
As the Emirates flight touched down at Changi Airport - Singapore on the balmy afternoon of May15, little did I realize that it was to mark the beginning of a long saga that was to span a ten week hospitalization. Meeting my wife and myself at the airport were our very dear friends Monica and Felix Vanderbeek who whisked us off to the Gleneagles Hospital.
Shortly after I settled into the hospital Dr. Goh Huk Su, my Surgeon called over for an examination. I felt instantly confident and reassured that I was in safe hands at the manner he went about the diagnosis and his explanation of the surgery which was fixed for the next afternoon. As my stay in the hospital extended I began to look up to Dr. Goh as some sort of medico-magician, my personal 'David Copperfield!"
It is a tremendous feeling when you can communicate freely with your Doctor - I have known Doctors who consider themselves demi-gods and regard questions and queries as an affront of their professional competence. Dr. Goh was different - despite the demands on his time, he would always be available for an exchange of pleasantries and respond to questions in simplistic detail that even I could understand.
The two surgeries were quite complicated but entirely successful as I later learned the gory details from Dr. Goh.
Two other specialists were brought in on the team by Dr. Goh - the first was Dr. Tsao Shiu Ying, the genial Radiotherapist. He would often stop by my room for a little chat always in lighter vein. I began to detect a strong evangelic fervour like Billy Graham about the manner he would describe the eradication of cancer cells. His simple and descriptive explanation on how such cells would be traced and wiped out before they could colonise never failed to amuse me. I felt he had the perfect concept for a successful video game called "Tsao - the Cell Terminator" - tracking those nasty little cells down, cornering them and bingo - wiping them out..."
The next member of my medical trinity was Dr. Tan Yew Oo - who made his first appearance when I was asleep. He was undoubtedly the Clint Eastwood of the team. Straight talking - no nonsense.
In fact his introductory preamble when I was in a bleary state was that he was going to tell me what I had to know in straight terms - warts and all, and he did a super job, almost kept me awake for several hours. The next morning he reappeared - this time to painstakingly repeat everything he said for the benefit of Esther and myself. I developed a good rapport with him and looked forward to his visits.
At first the prospect of a prolonged stay in hospital somewhat daunted me. How was I going to spend my time - reading was a strong preoccupation with my preferences going rapidly downhill from Business Week, Fortune and National Geographic to New Idea, Cleo, Hello Dolly and a host of other juicy gossip magazines. I can now consider myself a mini encyclopaedia on Hollywood trivia. Unfortunately - my perceptions of some of the stars have been destroyed - for example I found it disturbing that Dudley Moore ill treated his wife for over 20 hours a day, Mickey Rooney was an obscene little man, Jerry Lewis was not Mr. Nice Guy off screen and Ursula Andress preferred cooking "au natural" wearing only a smile on her face!
My daily routine quickly fell into place - starting with a visit to the Radiation Clinic. There was something about this place that gave it a sombre and ritualistic air. Everything was quiet, even the staff talked in modulated tones, always attired in pristine white coats, there was a quiet efficiency that pervaded the place. My morning visits were brief and I was also made comfortable with reassurances on what I should do if I felt any side effects.
Talking of side effects, I have to digress here. Several well meaning friends would visit me regularly and their opening gambit would be a series of questions about my reaction to side effects, after effects etc. Are you dizzy? Do you have diarrhoea? Have you lost your appetite? What about hair loss and so on. After a few days of this well intended interrogation I began to feel guilty I was letting my friends down by telling them I was not experiencing any such anticipated side effects. Anyway it stopped - I guess my friends just gave up thinking I was some sort of an inhuman freak!
From the Radiation Clinic my next stop would be the Physiotherapy Clinic which was a total contrast to my previous stop. This place was filled with chatter - therapists talking to their patients as they kneaded their way through taut and stubborn muscles. I also realized there was a direct link between a patient's vocal chords and the level of comfort derived from the therapy. Patients in the adjoining cubicles will be talking on a range of topics, even subtly chatting up the therapists. I could not resist overhearing a fellow patient announce that he was born on the same day as Prince Charles. What he was trying to achieve by this dubious distinction was beyond me! Anyway my stop at the Clinic was always pleasant - discovering muscles, cartilages etc., in places I never knew existed in my anatomy.
The entire Ward Staff were amazing. Pleasant, courteous and concerned with a sense of humor. Humor, it appeared was a pre-requisite to being on the staff.
To leave a hospital after a prolonged stay such as mine with a feeling of nostalgia and some sadness is indeed a tribute to the wonderful folk I have befriended and who will always remain special people in my life.
It was nearly ten weeks when I finally left Gleneagles - ten weeks during which I learned a lot about human nature. I return to Sri Lanka with - an even more positive attitude to life - feeling a little "cut-up" - and of course a "Semi colon!" - and an aversion for Colons!!!
During and after the World War when thousands of men were killed in battle women were compelled to take their place as breadwinners. Ever since then, though no such need arose in Sri Lanka, the exodus of women to mans' domain is continuing in ever increasing numbers, leaving homes empty, mere houses and no longer homes where mother was always present in the past. Women who have become materialistic, and got accustomed to this new way of life, have lost the love of home and family they once had and are loath to go back to their former way of life as dedicated housewives, wives and mothers. Unemployment among men, who are no longer recognised as breadwinnners, is largely due to our women who have lost their sense of vocation.
At 88, and having a vivid recollection of the past, it appalls me to see how women in today's society neglect their homes, their husbands and their children. Then, as it is now, there were the rich, the middle class and the poor; but except for the very poor who were compelled by circumstances beyond their control to go in search of employment, mothers even the most intellectual were happy to be with their children and husbands and undertake the duties and responsibilities of a home, managing as best they could with what their husbands gave them. Wives then paid much attention to their husbands and their children. Wives today, even the affluent, are ever ready to sacrifice their husbands and their children for monetary gain and other benefits.
Modern mothers stubbornly refuse to accept the plain truth that marriage and a career cannot be continued without serious loss to the family. Today even girls of 12 years are job-oriented and have as their goal degrees that will enable them to get lucrative jobs.
The education of girls should be different from that of boys. In schools today girls are not even taught needlework and have no knowledge of cookery, physiology, hygiene, child care, first aid, etc., so that when marriage comes they are totally unprepared and ill equipped to run a home.
With food packets easily available as in the West, women have become lazy and lost the art of cooking and so they are not concerned about the quality of the food they give their husbands and children.
Today we learn that men who come to work, instead of going straight to their desks, go to the canteen instead.
To those of us who belong to that era, it is distressing to see what is happening today. Parents have no control of even their little children and discipline seems to have no meaning.
The duties assigned to a man are different from those assigned to a woman. The difference between a male child and a female child is seen from birth. It is these differences that result in the attraction of the sexes.
The Western concept of sex equality, negates the teachings of all the world religions. It is this concept that has primarily caused chaos throughout the world.
Just as there are never two heads in any institution, likewise in the institution of marriage. The husband has been recognised as the head of the family and the wife as his help-mate as in the teachings of all religions. However, the quality of a nation depends largely on the quality of its women. The finest women are those of strong character, efficient housewives and devoted wives and mothers. Modern mothers have spurned their high calling and sacred duties.
In the past divorce was conspicuous by its absence. I hardly knew of a divorced couple. There were many families where husbands drank hard with the inevitable consequences, yet their wives forgave them and recognised their virtues. There were others who succumbed to the temptation of extra-marital sex and yet even they were forgiven. Inspite of these marital problems, husbands and wives made a success of their marriage and their children often grew up to be fine men and women, who loved their parents and their homes.
Today's children so often grow up with no one to care for them or see to their needs. Is it not to be expected that there would be youth unrest, violence and lawlessness? "It is love that begets love".
If children are deprived of that basic need from their mothers very specially how can they experience love?
It cannot be emphasised too often that a woman's place is her home as is taught in all religions. The presence of a mother in the home is not only important to infants and little children. Even young children of marriageable age enjoy the welcome presence of a mother in the home. Just as a good tree will always bear good fruit, good mothers will always bear good children.
It is precisely because we have ignored this fact and not emphasised the high calling of a mother, that the whole world is aflame. It is the height of folly to think that household chores are menial and drudgery and that those with intelligence would waste their time in household chores. Is not an office workers' job glued to her desk for eight hours much greater drudgery? The person of intellect gets much needed exercise of body and mind in doing her household chores. It must not be forgotten of course, that household chores can be exhausting if there is no domestic aid and so it is of the utmost importance that children should be trained from their earliest years to lend a helping hand to mother. In the same way it would be a tremendous advantage if fathers could help in the studies of the children instead of sending them to tuition classes which would be very tiring and a great strain on them.
Mothers of the past did not think of their rights but only of their duties and responsibilities. Children were the greatest treasure and the very thought of Divorce would have been repugnant to them.
Do women's liberation organisations advise mothers to examine themselves honestly to find out what has gone wrong with their marriage relationship and what their weaknesses are or do they encourage wives to defy their husbands on the grounds of equality and even to go to the Divorce Courts instead of making a determined effort to save their marriage and their family? Do they agree that the husband is the head of the family? All religions have taught this truth.
Continue to Plus page 4 -Using the other kidney
Return to the Plus contents page
| HOME PAGE | FRONT PAGE | EDITORIAL/OPINION | NEWS / COMMENT | BUSINESS
Please send your comments and suggestions on this web site to
info@suntimes.is.lk or to
webmaster@infolabs.is.lk