It was the Man of the Year show. The Judges were busy discussing who should be given the award. The audience was discussing the prospects of the contestants.
“I think Sanath Jayasuriya will get the Award”, said one. “No”, said another “I don’t think so, he didn’t even break Lara’s record and we have been losing so many matches recently.....”.
“Then, how about Satellite?”
“Even she will not be considered”, someone said, “she didn’t do much this year except to visit a few countries, begging for aid.....”.
“How about Lakshman”
“He must be staking a claim after getting the LTTE banned in America...”.
“And the other Lakshman?”
“Who, the professori? What did he achieve this year? Nothing, as usual, He’s like the NATO now. No Action. Talking Only....”
“How about Kingsley? He’s the one who said that Sri Lankans are overfed?”
“He must be carrying a mirror with him all the time. Otherwise, he must notice at least how does the professori look... And he shouldn’t be saying things like that with Satellite around...”
“I think we should make Richard P. the Man of the Year...”
“Why?”
“Why, he allowed one university student to be ragged to death. Then, even if that was excused, a second student is now fighting for his life....”
“Well, if that is how you assess the Man of the Year, then Anuruddha will give him a good fight....”
“Ah, yes, he’s the man who has captured over ninety percent of the North and hopes to shake hands with Prabhakaran on the fourth of February next year....”
“How about candidates from the other side?”
“Sirisena Cooray deserves an award for returning to the country, embarrassing the UNP and the government and then leaving before a Commission could find him guilty and put him behind bars...”
“And young Anura also deserves an award for spending another year without resuming diplomatic relations with his sister and also for spending another year without getting married....”
“How about an award for Chandrananda and Nelum for continuing in their posts when they should have resigned long time ago?’
“Then, an award must be given to Harry J. also for running an Airline while being investigated by the Customs...”.
“But I think the award should be given to Seeni Bola...”
“Why? For conveniently side-stepping the bribery allegations in the Cricket Board?’
“No for showing us that there is more to life than politics and showing us that variety is the spice of life...”
Just then the Judges came forward to announce their decision. A hush fell upon the crowd.
“We have decided to choose as Man of the Year”, they said, “someone who dared to be different. Someone who has more achievements this year than any other. He has divided the Maha Sangha. He has used Parliamentary privileges to his maximum benefit. He, despite being in charge of the media, has threatened to sue several newspapers. And, all this while, we thought of him as a mere fashion designer. And, finally, he has done what even JRJ couldn’t do turn a woman into a man.
“Ladies and gentleman, the Man of the Year…Mr Mangala Samaraweera.”
Everyone was stunned. No one cheered. The show was over.
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