Outside Politics

10th May 1998

VVIP body check

These, no doubts, are the days of stress and strain for all concerned from the highest to the humblest. The unbearable heat has only made matters worse.

This week it took the toll on two VVIPs in power and place — the handsome actor who has performed many roles and the not quite-so handsome industrious one.

They were both seen at different places having their bodies checked out.

The actor, who has gone places since August 1994, was undergoing a series of tests at a private hospital that is akin to the New World. Medical experts are trying their darnest to ascertain what was wrong with the man of many parts.

Nearby at a five-star hotel rising from the ashes, as it were, of last October's bomb blast was the industrious one, a bit deflated though.

Sitting by his sports doctor at the hotel's health centre, the one-time ruggerite was all pumped out as if he'd scored a dozen tries. The doctor's advice was that the man needs sleep, or more sleep than he gets now. An hour's afternoon nap was a sine qua non, he said, to getting fit again.

"What nonsense," boomed the politico. "I can only afford 20 minutes in the afternoon," he said. A busy man am I.

And what of the nights? How much sleep is required for someone who has 20 minutes sleep in the afternoons and in his condition?

"Seven hours," was the prompt advice of the good doctor W de A. Sorry I cannot afford that luxury either, said our busy politico. "Four hours is all I can afford," he said.

According to these calculations, he has not only beaten his boss who once gave a daily timetable of her work ethic, but also a former president, who, many believed, was an insomniac if nothing else

State Express

And so, happy with a successful May Day rally under his belt, the man who leads the opposers is getting ready for his ride to power and what better way to do it than get himself a brand new Audi car worth nearly Rs. 2.5 million (special price).

And the special registration number he wanted for himself. Is it numerology he believes in, or the fact that it sounds like a cigarette that comes not only three of those numbers, but also the title "State Express."

Wine, wadey, song

A harmonious blend of wadey and wine (not Riesling but fine Chardonay) thrust this little known Epicurus into national fame last week.

He was chosen for special mention by our jovial Media Minister Mangala Samaraweera, who has now mastered the fine art of making the news weekly, the same way he mastered the fine art of sartorial elegance.

But alas, he forgot the elegance to accuse Epicurus of lampooning the Chennai Wallah. No sir, no sir, it has nothing to do with contradictions though it was a "bizarre" thing to do.

Memories are short. Didn't Mangala's own boss the fair lady accuse this same Chennai Wallah of deliberately misquoting her not so long ago?

Just a little Freedom of Expression, eh what!

Jungle Telegraph

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