The Fifth Column

10th May 1998

What's to be done?

Wednesday - Returned from Geneva, after negotiating with the ADB chaps. They agreed to give us a little more money than they gave us last year. I think that was because they didn't understand a word of what G.L. was telling them and the easiest way to stop him talking was to give him what he wanted. Oh what an asset G.L. has been.......

Thursday - There's a viral fever everywhere, they tell me. I told Nimal he must do something about it soon or else Ranil and his crowd will blame me for that also. I suppose I could miss a Cabinet meeting or two saying I've got the flu.....

Friday - I thought of going early to the May Day rally and what do I see? Not a single Minister except Alavi. When they came I asked them why they were late and they said that since I was supposed to come at four o' clock they expected me to come at six o'clock, so they came at five o'clock. I told them that I only get late for security reasons - and not because Ramzi delays my hairstyle as some people think - but they can't give that as an excuse. Anyway, the crowd was very poor, even after giving them free milk and buns. I am told Ranil and even the JVP drew quite a crowd, even without the milk and buns. I wonder why?

Saturday - There's trouble at the post office again. Those chaps are insisting that the Kotakadeniya girl should go. I asked Mangala whether we couldn't do to her what we did to the Nelum girl - give her a kick upstairs and make her an additional secretary or something. We'll be happy, she will be happy and the UPTO chaps will be happy. But Mangala will have none of it. He really likes the PMG her being a lady and all...

Sunday - Everybody is worried about the cricket team doing so badly in South Africa. I told Seeni Bola he must do somethingabout it because as long as the cricketers keep winning, we can do anything and get away with it, but if they start losing, the people will naturally start complaining. Seeni Bola wanted to appoint a Commission but I said I can't because there are no diplomatic postings left to be given away. Finally told Reggie to ask his son to do what we do in Gampaha - to win 'hondin berinam narakin..."

Monday - Lucky K. brought that Uganda diplomat to see me.He says he's on a UN mission to see whether the Tigers are using children for the war. He was most charming and I felt like asking where he buys his gowns from. They looked so convenient, concealing all the extra weight we tend to put on while doing this job. Must ask Kadi to bring me one when he next goes to Africa.....

Tuesday - So, they've identified an Airforce chap as being responsible for that attack on a journalist. Told Mangala to make the maximum out of it, just to show that we are for a free press and about transparency and all that. Thereafter, maybe everyone will quietly forget the whole incident.....

Rajpal Abeynayake's Column

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