The Fifth Column

29th November 1998

Whose Budget, is it?

My Dear G.L.,

I thought of writing to you when I heard that there was this big controversy about the last Budget - about who prepared it and about some of the proposals.

To tell you the truth, I was shocked. There you were, dashing and handsome, with your grey suit and red tie, matching the colour of your hair and face respectively, and sipping water every now and then while you read out the Budget proposals.

If I remember correctly, every time you pursed your lips in that characteristic fashion and read out a proposal, you said, "I propose" and your MPs jumped up and down, applauding you as if they were applauding Sanath's boundaries, which, by the way, have become so rare now.

And now they tell us that you had nothing to do with any of that. There goes Satellite again on the television, with that charming smile of hers, saying that the Budget was hers and hers alone, "upto the point of reading it..."

Now, that's not fair, is it? It reminds us of the time when Paski prepared Preme's Budgets and Dearly Beloved read them out in Parliament in a record forty five minutes without stopping even for comas and fullstops, because Preme had said "oka watura bibby kiyanna ona ne...!"

So Dr. I think you should get your own back now. You must come clear and tell us who actually prepared the Budget. Did Satellite actually sit and write those pages and pages of economic reviews which no one cares about anyway? If she really did, she must be guilty of neglecting a lot of her other duties as Head of State, isn't she? Or did that Dixon do it for her? Or was it the work of your good friend, ASJ, the chap who signs on our currency notes?

Then there is another problem here. Remember what happened to two of those proposals - scrapping the duty free allowance and increasing rail fares? Fowzie complained about one and Mahinda about the other and Satellite agreed to withdraw those proposals, or so she says now.

Now, to be honest that is something that makes me feel that this Budget was in fact, Satellite's hard work. It's so typical of her to say something and then change her mind - just like what she did with the Executive Presidency, the Provincial Council elections and even her promise to give bread at three fifty!. But, as if to prove her point that it was all her work, there she was, so very casually dressed but at her table at Temple Trees with Dixon and two others. That picture in the Daily Noise said that she was "going through the draft proposals."

To put it mildly we were confused as to who was doing what in this goverment, until Satellite came forward that day and said it was all hers "upto the point of reading it!" Seriously if I were you, I would consider resigning. That would show everyone how important you are. And, an educated man like you should never worry about a job - unlike most other politicians - because who knows even the Greens might want you in their camp. After all, you were at one time advising one of Preme's Commissions, weren't you?

So, think about it will you. We are all waiting for your next move.

Yours Truly,

Punchi Putha.

P.S. - If by chance, you have a difficulty in finding a job you could always become Chief Spokesman for all those unemployed graduates, couldn't you?

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