The Fifth Column

18th April 1999

Echoes from land of no return

They were all gathered in the land of No Return, the former Green Stalwarts, discussing what was wrong with their Grand Old Party in Paradise Island.

"Actually as a matter of fact" said old DS, "I think we can win the next elections; we even won Dedigama this time…"

"No, DS," said JR, "A lot has changed since your days. It's not like the good old days anymore. All is fair in love, war and Sri Lankan politics…"

"Ah" said Dudley to JR, "and you were responsible for many of those changes…"

"But what do you think this chap Ranil should do to win?" Sir John asked.

"He's wasting his time trying to be the gentleman in politics," RP said.

"RP, don't forget that he has to face that problem because of you…" Dudley pointed out.

"Why do you say that?" RP wanted to know.

"Why, he was a minister in your cabinet as well as JR's cabinet. And that is partly why people are not willing to trust him that much…"

"But" Lalith joined in the argument; "he's not doing much either…"

"I will agree with that" said Gamini, "Even when I wanted to rejoin the greens and oust him with Dearly Beloved's blessings, he just gave up without a fight…"

"I don't agree with that" JR defended his nephew.

"Why?" everyone wanted to know.

"Because" said JR, " he has learnt the art of survival from me. He knew that Satellite would win anyway; so he didn't want to spoil his future chances…"

"But it is still a fact that he's not doing enough while being in the Opposition" RP argued

"Why do you say that?" Sir John asked.

"He's letting people like Sira idle. He is even antagonizing them. They are the type of people who can win elections for us…"

"I'm not so sure about enlisting Sira's help" Lalith said, "but I agree he can be more positive…"

"The problem is" said Dudley, "he lacks the image of a person who can get things done…"

"Why do you say that?" DS asked.

"Well, RP, Lalith and Gamini all had a Udagama, Mahapola or a Mahaveli to tell the country what they were doing and this poor fellow was left in the cold…" Dudley argued.

"And Dickie was smiling to himself and ruling the roost while the Udagamas, Mahapolas and Mahavelis were fighting with each other…" Sir John chuckled.

"Well" said JR, "I was grooming all three and I thought the best man should win. It's not my fault that all of them should have said goodbye before I did…"

"At least" said DS, "they are not fighting with each other now…"

"But" Sir John wanted to know; " do you think they can win the next election?"

"They could" RP said, "if they follow the strategies I followed?"

"The 'Me Kawda, Mokada Karanne' method?" Gamini asked.

"There's nothing wrong with that method" RP argued, "even the Supreme Court said so…"

"But" Lalith argued; "now there are all kinds of monitors and they will all start complaining…"

"Don't worry" RP assured.

"How can you say that?" the others asked.

"Why, the new standard for fair elections is Wayamba. Even two weeks ago, there were many problems but no one bothered because it was better than Wayamba. And, even 'Me Kawda Mokada Karanne' was better than Wayamba"

Even DS and Dudley didn't argue with RP about that.

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