Appreciations

Into existence in an arid land, beyond the realms of death
Midst this miasmic fog they call life
Where the tentacles of self righteousness reach out
Darkly - with their touch of clammy death
In a world where love unfeigned has ceased to exist
In a world where your voice, your life, your love
Have eternally been stilled
Where my heart, my spirit, will reach out to embrace whirling mists of emptiness
Where my ears ne’er will hear again your voice - And the heart grieves -
Into this irreversible abyss sculptured into the spirit by death
A sister loved more than words can utter… has consigned me, ABANDONED....
And I know, herself, not without grieving, her aching heart knew
She’d not see me again fore’ it wrestled in agonizing pain against that final stillness
To beat again… but beat no more and drown into death’s ghoulish depths!
All’s over, all’s spent, all’s suddenly, frighteningly silent
And if in that eerie and empty loneliness,
Bereft of your love, your voice, your blessed unforgettably loving and tender touch
One happens to hear me sing… listen well for the smothered notes of plaintive melody
Lilting yet painfully linked by parenthesis of grief – some call them heartbeats
Turning melody into dirge that would go on sounding.... while the unseen tears
Invisible spears of pain, will trust relentlessly after each bow
For unbidden, inexorably erupt memories
Of laughter that was – once, ages ago it seems
Shared – that warm embrace on a birthday – the ever unfailing gift
From your heart so unfeigned and ne’er a shade of guile
Speak then if you will just once more.... Yea
Though my heart will rejoice and yet grieve.
Death? in the depths of whispering memories – an eternal flame!
No warmth in the loneliness of a cold night
Lo! What warmth ever came out of ashes in a cold urn....
My sister, an urn of memories underscoring life’s sordid travesties
Cause unbidden tears to sting behind night’s curtain of darkness
Or blur the beauty of a bright and pregnant dawn
With the vision of your achingly loved face
Memories of that sweetest of gentle smiles
Wreathed in love unfeigned, Always giving, giving
But we shared a secret pain that a world of sham
Knew not of its existence – its agonizing foreknowledge, fear?
That fate’s ugly hands would prevail
And so I could not be there to comfort nor strengthen you when you needed it most
But you knew.... and it might have been as painful for you as it was for me
And I wonder, did you hear my heart cry out as the blurring tears smothered
My heart’s goodbye to you, as it whispered “Thank you” for giving
So much.... always, at all times
Till you could give no more…

Only whirling mists of emptiness remain