My dear Mahinda maama,

I thought I must write to you because you appear to be so busy and pre-occupied with this SAARC conference, so much so that you seem to be forgetting what else is going on in this Paradise of ours.
Mahinda maama, in case you have forgotten, most people in Paradise are now living amidst a lot of hardships and finding it difficult to make ends meet. So, the idea that you are having a grand tamasha might not go down well with them, don’t you think?

It doesn’t help when we hear that so many millions have been spent on importing bullet proof vehicles for the visiting heads of state-when most of our people are trying to stretch the few thousand rupees they have to the maximum. And remember, when they asked you for a five thousand rupee pay hike you flatly refused their request…

Of course, Mahinda maama, we were all told that the cash is needed for the war effort and that we are just about to finish off the Tigers once and for all. To give credit to whomever thought up that story, a lot of people believed that, you know. But that is exactly why they will now resent your big bill for the SAARC conference!

Then, it does look like work in the entire city will come to a virtual halt for a few days because of this conference, Mahinda maama. The police tell us that most schools will be closed, roads will be closed and railway stations will be closed. Have you ever thought how much that would cost the country, Mahinda maama?

And as if to add insult to injury, chaps are now going about demolishing peoples’ homes saying they are a security risk and apparently they don’t stop even when Uncle Sarath asks them to. That is a dangerous thing to do, Mahinda maama, because all these people will also be voters at the next elections…
Now, Mahinda maama it is no secret that you won that last election because you were portrayed as a Maha Kalu Sinhalaya who will resist foreign intervention in our affairs, while Uncle Ranil was seen as the chap who gave in meekly to the Norwegian demands But now, Mahinda maama, you seem to be bending over backwards to please Uncle Manmohan of India, allowing him to bring his security and what not, and acceding to all his demands. The Rathu Sahodarayas are already making a song and dance about this and I’m sure that won’t do your image any good. After all, this is a man who refused to come to our Diamond Jubilee independence celebrations when you wanted him to…

Also, don’t forget, Mahinda maama, that you are fighting an election in Rajarata and Sabaragamuwa in a month-a few weeks after the SAARC conference. You will have to make sure that nothing goes wrong with the conference because if it does, it could boomerang on your election and that is not something that you would want, would you?

Remember, Mahinda maama, the Non-aligned conference some thirty years ago when your political mentor, the Queen Bee reigned supreme and crowned herself with glory as the head of the Non-aligned movement with over a hundred countries? Now, we all know what happened next-she lost the elections in a terrible defeat to JR just a year later. Do you think there is a lesson in that for you, Mahinda maama? Think about it, will you?

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha

PS-We heard that Lalkantha sahodaraya is now planning a three day strike after his first attempt was a flop of sorts. Now, Mahinda maama, if he calls the strike to coincide with the three days of your SAARC conference, he can be sure that the strike will be a complete success, can’t he?