Let’s put it across with the indelible cross

My dear voter,

I thought I must write to you because most of you will be called upon to vote yet again on Thursday despite doing your democratic duties several times in the last two years in provincial, presidential and general elections.

I know you may not be really keen on voting this time around; after all, there is a World Cup going on and most of you are more interested in the number of runs Mahela makes or Malinga’s hairstyle rather than being bothered about who will lead your next Pradeshiya Sabha!

Anyway, I am not sure which costs the country more, the elections or the World Cup, so I suppose it is only correct that you do your duty by your country once more and mark that all important cross on the ballot paper on Thursday.

I know you will face a few problems when you try to do that, dear voter. That is because you will have so many people telling you that they are the very best and asking you to vote for them-even though you wouldn’t have even heard of them before!And as you already know, they come in different shapes and sizes but most importantly, they come in different colours-mostly blue, green and red. And choosing between these colours will be the most difficult task for you, dear voter.

We have all heard the Blues referring to the peace that has dawned after the end of the war, the roads that have been built since then and the ports and airports that are being built, not to mention the cricket grounds, of course. They say these are reasons you should vote for them.

But you may have also realised by now that the Blues are still trying to live on the glories of winning the war. We all agree that winning the war was an unparalleled feat which all governments before it failed to achieve, but trying to live off that for local government elections is not quite done, is it?

Firstly, it is now two years and two major elections since the event. Then, the man who led the troops on the battlefield is in jail. Finally, what has candidate Silva or Gunapala who is promising to rebuild the bokkuwa in the village got to do with winning the war?

Then, dear voter, even if you have decided to vote for the Blues you must be having another huge problem on your hands: trying to decide who gets your ‘manaapey’. That is what they now call the ‘Battle of the Blues’-not the Royal Thomian!

Why only this week one deputy minister of the government no less, was manhandled by supporters of another deputy minister. That is how bad these turf wars can get. So my advice is, dear voter, don’t let anyone know who your ‘manaapey’ goes to, or else you may be the next victim!

Now, if you are one of those who voted for the Blues because they won the war but you are not happy with them now because of the ever increasing cost of living, you may decide to vote for the Greens. But then again, you are bound to run into some difficult choices, dear voter.

Their campaign rallies are like a trip to the vegetable market. They ask you how much pathola or bandakka is. And then, because these prices are high, they expect you to vote for them. I know they are trying to make a point, but you must also decide whether they deserve a vote at all.

Now, that is because we have virtually two Green parties. We have one led by the veteran Green Man who has been decent enough to confine his campaign to the elections at hand. Then we have the challenger who is more concerned about ushering in a ‘Punchi Premadasa’ era before the New Year.

I know the Green Man may be pushing his luck asking for an extension after having lost so many elections but then his challenger, who makes it a point to always shout himself hoarse, doesn’t seem to realise that people shudder at the thought of another ‘Premadasa’ era!

Then, if you think the Blues and the Greens are not for you, the Reds are always there as an option. Their speeches are amusing, they seem principled enough and they attract quite a crowd. But when the votes are counted, even those who flocked to their meetings don’t seem to have voted for them!

Besides, sometimes they seem to oppose everything for the sake of opposing and their tactics like brewing trouble at the campuses means that most people have reservations about voting for them. But if you are one of those who think ‘unuth ekai, munuth ekai’, you could always vote for them.

Whatever colour you decide to vote for, dear voter, I think it is best that you go early and cast your vote. After all, it would be embarrassing if the voter turnout is less than the number of overs in an innings in a World Cup match!

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha

PS-And in these days of World Cup fever, here’s an interesting question that you should be able to answer. What do Sanath Jayasuriya and Dayananda Dissanayake have in common? Yes, they both do need hair replacement treatment but the more accurate answer is that they both refuse to retire, no matter how poor their performance is!