6th February 2000

Blue or green all are Beans

I first thought I will write to you when I heard that you had written what has been described as a 'historic' letter to Satellite. In that letter you are supposed to have said that you will support whatever she does to bring an end to the war. Then, I realized I must write to you when they announced that those so-called rebels had won their case against you.

Now, pardon me Green Man, but I'm a little confused with all this letter writing by you and by all these addresses to the nation by Satellite. I think it all began when Satellite talked to all of us via TV and said she wanted to extend her 'hand of friendship' to you.

Soon after everyone was talking of a National Government and some even said you would be made PM because you-know-who is not all that well. Then, if I remember correctly, the greens met and decided against a National Government of any sort.

Then, Satellite made her second TV appearance- that award winning performance which included detailed instructions as to how fans at Temple Trees should be switched off. There she called you all kinds of names and even accused your kith and kin of conspiring against her, with kind assistance from Velu.

Now that Satellite has changed her mind, you too seem to be having second thoughts and you write her a letter and tell her you will support her proposals, whatever they may be!

So, with all these second thoughts, can you blame us if we are a little confused as to what you and Satellite are planning to do?

Pardon me for saying this, Green Man but I'm a little worried about you because you have demonstrated that you have the talent to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. You did that once in December- though that bomb and the Samurdhi chaps helped Satellite significantly. Now you have done it again, demonstrating that you can't even expel a person properly! No wonder they call your party the "Unanduwak Nethi Pakshaya!"

I really don't like to criticize someone when he is down. Even within your party, you are not the most popular of leaders. Some of them say that you never achieved anything for the party and that everything came to you automatically. You became a minister because your uncle made you one, you became Leader of the House because RP wanted Lalith and Gamini sidelined and you became PM because RP was assassinated and Dearly Beloved hardly had a choice, they say.

Now, I don't agree with that assessment at all, Green Man. At least you must be given credit for not deserting the greens through thick and thin- from the impeachment crisis to six long years in the Opposition. Also, you have had the courage to refrain from seeking political advantage by offering false promises to the people.

But I too do think you need to watch your stage performances on TV and also think about the statements you make to people at elections- bracelets, chewing gum and handing over Satellite to Velu!

And you also need to think about working with all the people in the green camp instead of isolating some of them just because they don't seem to like you.

Though I agree that if you were to have friends like Wije and Sarath, you don't need many enemies. But then, politics, after all is all about pretending to like people you really don't like and you can learn a lesson or two about that from Satellite who, I'm sure, doesn't like the looks of half her Cabinet!

And, in between doing all this, when you find some spare time, we don't mind if you write a letter or two to Satellite. After all, it keeps us entertained, though not as much as Satellite's TV performances, which fortunately are after nine o'clock, when most kids are in bed. You don't want them asking the meaning of embarrassing words, do you?

So, think about all these matters Green Man and be patient. I'm sure your turn will come, probably sooner than we expect!

Yours truly,

Punchi Putha.

PS- Talking of TV performances, some say that when they show you addressing a rally on TV, if the volume is switched off, it appears like a Mr. Bean programme.

The Jungle Telegraph

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