• 'Sorry' makes a world of a difference
• Bon appetit at the Delifrance
• To live together or not to?
• Saying it with paper
• Anup's colourful life
• 

'Sorry' makes a world of a difference

Anoja is very confused with all the problems her young married friends seem to have. "Can you believe it?" she asked. "Ranjanie has left Hiran, and it is not even an year since they married." "What happened?" I asked. "The reason appears to be so childish when you think of it," she said, "Ranjanie is a stickler for order and neatness. If clothes are dropped on the floor or slippers are thrown about she gets into a flap.

"Everything has to be in its correct place. Hiran is different. He comes from a home where his mother would clean up and arrange his room and keep things in order. Apparently Ranjanie would have numerous arguments with Hiran asking him to change his ways, and generally he would laugh them off, but the silliest thing that caused Ranjanie to leave was the resentment caused by, of all things, a wet towel. Hiran had left it on the rail - Ranjanie said he should put it out to dry. Hiran snapped at her saying, "you do nothing at home the whole day long, I have to leave early to reach office. Why can't you do some work- cleaning up and arranging?" Ranjanie was furious. Hiran, she felt, did not care for her, he did not appreciate all that she did to keep a neat house. And so they argued and Ranjanie ended up by saying, 'My mother was right, you have been so spoilt, you do not want to help at all. You are utterly selfish.'

Maybe the previous day had been a bad day at office for Hiran, or perhaps he was tired of Ranjanie's constant complaints, anyway he said "Well if you think your mother is right, why don't you go back to her."

"Ranjanie was stunned, angry and hurt, so off she went to her mother's with her tale of woe, and nothing anyone says can persuade her to go back. She is waiting for Hiran to call her," added Anoja.

Goodness me, I thought what a mess, but was not pride the cause of the break-up. Neither one wanted to say 'Sorry'. Surely that little word would bridge the gap that will otherwise widen as the days lengthen into weeks and months. It is to my mind strange, how people who promise to love and care for each other are yet so reluctant to say 'sorry' and patch up hurt feelings real or imagined. In a marriage tempers get frayed, and hard words are said for it is difficult to imagine a situation where two people will be constantly in agreement. But when tempers cool is it not better to say 'sorry' and start all over again? If one loves, does it matter who says sorry first? After all the joy of making up will follow.

But if one waits too long, then anger will build up to resentment and a feeling of 'I don't care anymore,' will grow too. In fact the old dictum I learnt when I was young applies to a marriage more than to any other "do not let the sun go down on your anger". Anoja listened and said "I'll try to persuade Ranjanie to call Hiran, she is as miserable as I hear Hiran is." After all to say 'sorry, let's make up' is not that difficult, is it?

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