In my own right

By Kesara Ratnatunga

Have you ever wanted to just break free and do something absolutely radical? To climb a tree and howl at the moon, or colour your hair just the right shade of pink . Desires left unfulfilled, just because 'people might think you were weird'. Parents and social norms on one end, peers and image on the other, expression of individuality is a difficult thing in our society, but perhaps it's worthwhile re-thinking your approach to life, and try to be...yourself.

Unfortunately our society is not the most hospitable environment to express new ideas. People are so entrenched in the mundane routine and rat-race of day to day life, that most don't stop to think. Their minds are so one-tracked, that they move away from curiosity and the desire to think freely.

The education system and the competition it entails are such that children are not given the liberty nor the time to experiment,think and discover for themselves. "Spoon-feeding is how the system works today, it's too bad," says Aruni (23).

"People who think differenty are often ridiculed and made to feel like outcasts," says Chandima (21). The dreamers and radical thinkers are often stifled by teachers, parents, peers and society in general, because they don't fit into the 'accepted mould' of social norms.

As a result many young people shy away from being imaginative and creative, and expressing themselves to other people, for fear of being laughed at or classed as weird. They limit themselves to what is required to fit into the group, the so-called 'normal people'.

When you're young, especially in school, there is a time when image is everything. When you want to be noticed, attractive, cool, fun to be with and above all accepted, mostly by friends and peers. As a result you forsake your own ideas and do only that which is considered trendy, just to be able to hangout with the crowd. Everybody does it, though nobody admits it. It's a part of growing up.

Standing up for what you believe in is always a hard thing to do, especially if your friends think otherwise. The easy way out is to keep your mouth shut and tag along, regardless of whether or not you agree with them. Sometimes, forcing yourself to believe that what the others say is right, often helps you justify your actions, "but your conscience makes you feel really guilty," says Krishan (19). If you think about it, when a person does this, he or she has blended into the group and individuality is lost. Sure it helps you survive, but your ethics, principles, values and characteristics, which define you as a person, have been sacrificed in the process.

Being individualistic doesn't mean hijacking a plane and demanding world peace, or even driving your parents up the wall with weird haircuts. It's more about forming your own ideas and having the confidence to express them. So what if somebody else thinks your ideas are strange or that you have a couple of screws loose? It just happens to be the way you feel, and you have every right to express it.

Everybody is initially shy and self-conscious about expressing his or her views. 'What if people think I'm silly?' or 'What if I make a fool of my self?' Fears which each of us have faced or are still facing. "Lots of people, young people in particular, aren't confident enough to say what they want to say," says Aruni. It takes guts to be yourself and stick to your guns regardless of the consequences. However difficult it may be, in the long run it's worth it. Once you gain confidence and realize that it is you, as an individual who is truly 'cool', then being a person in your own right becomes easier.

Individuality doesn't have to be expressed through art, music, speech or any other form. All you need to do is be broadminded and receptive to new things, turn them around in your head and try to understand them for yourself?. "It is a wonderful experience to discover new things for yourself," says Vajira (23).

Have you ever taken the time to star gaze, to look up at the night sky and play connect the dots with the stars, to contemplate where you fit in the grand scheme of things, and whether there actually are nasty bug-eyed monsters on Mars? Imagination and thought, are perhaps the mind's most wonderful abilities. They let you go places and see things as nothing else can. They give you the ability to look at things in new perspectives, in ways that are unique to you.

"Views and ideas, trivial though they may seem, should be expressed and shared with others," says Vajira. After all, all great things have come from people who dared to use their imaginations and pursue their dreams, however odd they might have seemed. Everything new exists only in our imagination. If we don't use that imagination those novelties will never be discovered. And if we don't express our selves, they will be lost to the world.

It's a pity that many young people don't take the time to daydream and tell the world about it.

If ever you feel like telling everybody how the world should work, then just do it. If you feel like standing up for something you believe in, then do so, because the opportunity to be young and idealistic comes around only once a life time.

Growing up is perhaps the hardest part of our lives. Learning right from wrong, fitting into society, discovering talents, understanding people, figuring out the scheme of things, trials and errors, forming ideals and principles...it's a lot to do within the small space of the 'growing years'. Getting through it is relatively easy; coming out of it as an individual...that's the tough part.

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