Fear is the key

By Norm(an) de Plume

Confession time, it is then. I've been terrified of needles as long as I can remember. In the 20-something years of my existence, I suppose I've had at least ten or twelve injections and I can only remember two occasions when I did not panic. The first, when I was about eight, and the matron who administered the monstrosity scared the daylights out of me so much that I clean forgot about the jab in my arm. 

The other occasion I didn't panic was because of the ingenuity of the doctor. He made me close my eyes and gave a running commentary and completely fooled me, i.e. he was going through the details of preparing the infection while the nurse was actually giving it, and strangely enough I didn't notice. And the remaining ten occasions? Sorry, I can't tell you what happened - I was in a dead faint at the time.

It's strange really. While I would hardly call myself brave along the lines of some superhero, I'm no scaredy-cat either. Blood doesn't freak me out, neither do other sharp things, but needles fill me with some strange fear. So the explanation that I've come up with is that my body is so fine-tuned that when the moment comes I just go away and let the good doctors do what they have to do. 

Do they realize this? Of course not. They don't seize the opportunity that I have so kindly provided for them, but instead pour water on my face, flap a piece of paper and create a breeze etc. and make sure I wake up. And then, after a polite inquiry about how I feel, THEN they jab the needle in to me! (Thankfully, I have never fainted twice - and I suppose the doctors have some reason for keeping me conscious at the time, But they'll have a hard time selling that to me)

But I suppose I am not alone in fearing needles - it's supposed to be common. My brother also has one of the common phobias - the fear of heights. He can't even get up to the frescoes at Sigiriya! Being a tall, lanky kind of guy, I suppose the fear is 'heightened' in him more than usual. No doubt many people would agree that the fear of spiders and snakes etc. is quite common, but there are exceptional cases that take these fears to the next level. May I advise the pranksters reading this column to be cautious in dealing which such persons - oh yes, the unexpected rubber frog in someone's bag is an irresistible temptation - but sometimes the reactions might be a bit extreme, trust me.

Needles, spiders and heights are some of the more mundane phobias. I remember once watching on the Discovery channel that the fear of public appearances, as unusual as it sounds, ranks high on most Americans' list of phobias. Napoleon is supposed to have suffered from aelurophobia, or the fear of cats - but since I read it in a book called 'Bart Simpson's Guide to Life, I'm not too sure how true it is. I've even heard of people who are scared of jelly! But whatever your pet fear is, it's just another of life's battles to fight and (hopefully) win. 

Good luck.

Clothes Line

I'm hoping the same happiness for you

You as a child had all the comforts. We quenched your thirst for knowledge in all the possible ways and in return you brought good results. It made us happy and we spent all what we had on you. You were our only child and your father's darling. 

When I think of your marriage many a thought comes to my confused mind. Will you find the correct partner? Will he treat you well as we always did? Will he respect your ways? You have a mind of your own and will there be arguments? Will you get the freedom you always got from us? How will you manage the household affairs? Will he find fault with you when you stay away from home working? I know you loathe house work and love working outside the home. Will he accept all these qualities of yours? I would like you to know the person well before you say "I do". Get the chance to go deep into the person you like and set your mind on. At the moment all these bees buzz around you as you are pretty and outgoing. I compare you to a fresh flower that blooms in my garden. I compare all these young guys to bees and butterflies who come to suck honey. Some go away but the best one who is going to be the real winner will remain with you until the time your petals wither, until your colour fades, like your father stayed with me. I hope you will find the same happiness I did -

M. Chandrasena 

This so-called marriage mania

On the contrary, I lead a very contented life - I have my job, my career, many qualifications and above all - my freedom, which I treasure most. I have plenty of time to pursue my talents, and excel in them as well. Supposing I was married, I would be doing nothing else other than becoming a 'glorified house keeper', cooking for a dude and looking after his children!

I have clearly explained to my parents that I will never marry for the sake of marrying, unless I come across a person who has the same interests as me, as this is the most important thing for me right now. In my case, I will never give up my happiness, interests and my freedom, to marry some bloke in order to please society, and later pretend to the world that I am the happiest on earth when it is nothing but frustration that grows inside. This is what happens most often here, as most Sri Lankans are a bunch of pretenders. Among my friends, I can clearly say that there are only two couples who are genuinely happy, whereas all the others belong to the 'pretending category'.

Maybe in our society, false values such as 'a woman must marry' and 'spinsters are frustrated' prevail strongly. Most marry so that they will have somebody to look after them when they are old. But amazingly, when one visits a Home for the Aged, 98% are married people, who have been dumped there by their children!

Still, one finds many 'husband hunting women' chasing men around and getting married only to attain the qualification of ' Mrs'. No wonder men consider such women cheap. For me such women only display their stupidity. I am happy that I do not belong to that category, am neither starved for a man nor will be in the future.

So cheer up sister 'Sky' - hold on to your values and do not let the crowd pressure you. Never let go of your happiness or freedom to please somebody else, as it is not worth it - stand up for what you believe in.

' Jolly Spinster'

Physician heal thyself

Judging by what one hears, one reads and most importantly what one experiences nowadays, one wonders if these 'super-humans' deserve the respect and the honour we attribute to them. In all fairness it must be stated that there are black sheep in any profession and the paragons of virtue are few and far between. My concern is with those black sheep who seem to far outnumber the committed, dedicated few.

Starting off with an education at the expense of the much harassed tax payer, they proceed for further study, again, very often funded by government grants or other forms of assistance. But, once in the saddle, what happens? A false sense of values creeps in. Gratitude and honesty are thrown to the winds and greed takes over. With greed taking over, it is one mishap after another but is there any remorse? Not at all. The craze for money and more money continues leaving both the unsuspecting patient and even the immediate family crying for attention. Do these black sheep have a conscience? Apparently not. The suffering of the patients, probably gets shadowed by that insatiable thirst for more finances.

Who shares the grief of the suffering patient or his loved ones? Are these black sheep so very callous that they do not heed the suffering of their charges? Do they not realize that sooner or later their greed may land them in the same plight as that of their patients? 

In all good faith I appeal to them to cry halt to their selfish actions and disregard. Sit back and take stock of the suffering you cause others through your negligence. What a wonderful place this world would be if at least you decide to step in the right direction! Soon there would be followers from other domains. And wouldn't that be an honour in itself!

Concerned

Positive and negative

-TS