Sanath & Co,
hope your fans will get their moneys worth
My Dear Sanath
& Co.,
I thought of
writing to you on the eve of your preparation for the World Cup
because over the next month or so that is what we Sri Lankans will
be worried about, regardless of peace talks, federal systems, the
cost of living and even the presidency of the Cricket Board.
As you must
be well aware by now, we Sri Lankans were not happy with what happened
in the recent tours to England, South Africa and most lately to
Australia. Of course in Australia as it always happens, something
other than cricket creates a controversy and I suspect that helped
to some extent to reduce the degree of embarrassment.
Anyway, Sanath,
what alarmed most of us was the fact that even after all this, the
team was very keen on dictating terms to the Board about wages and
threatening not to take part in the World Cup. As some have already
noted if only they put in the effort and energy they devoted to
their demands to their performance on the field, we may have won
at least a few more matches!
But of course,
a settlement has now been reached and we all hope that the pay hikes
you won will spur you on to better performances in the field. Perhaps
we should adopt a performance related pay structure for you cricketers-
a thousand rupee bonus for every boundary and a thousand rupee fine
for every dropped catch! But this performance-related pay is a nice
idea indeed and that is what I wanted to write to you about.
Of course,
you would argue it is not fair to impose such a scheme only for
cricketers. Then we would have to do the same for everyone else.
Just imagine imposing a fine on politicians who break their election
promises, making salary deductions for being late (and you know
who that will apply to!) or even penalising other people for example,
if the peace talks fail!
Then again,
maybe we should fine our ministers when the country experiences
power cuts and we should also fine them when the gas and flour prices
increase. Maybe we should even link the pay packet of ministers
to the price of bread. The higher the latter, the lesser the former
should be. Now, that would be a sure way of keeping the cost of
living down
But let us
seriously hope that you will forget your performances of the recent
past and play better. After all, you have been called 'black something-or-the-other'
and now it is upto you to prove them wrong, or else they will have
the last laugh. We don't need to tell you that the entire nation
is watching, even if their expectations are not that high, this
time around. We wish you the best of luck because you certainly
need a lot of it, considering the way you people run into each other
when batting!
Yours truly,
Punchi
Putha
PS- Someone tells me that the Green Man is waiting for you to win
the World Cup. He believes that if that happens, the people will
be so happy that he can introduce a federal constitution and no
one would care and then he can end the war and win the Nobel Prize
for peace. How is that for a plan?
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