5th Column

Some desperately wish SARS to invade this country
"Thaaththa", Bindu Udagedera asked, "what will the New Year be like?"
"What do you mean by that?" Bindu's father, Percy wanted to know.
"Why, thaaththa, everyone is wishing for a peaceful and prosperous New Year…" Bindu said.

"If peaceful means a ceasefire where a boat is destroyed every now and then and blamed on a 'third party', then the New Year would be peaceful," Percy agreed.
"But will it be prosperous as well?"

"I'm not so sure about that," Percy said, "but there is indeed a quick way to becoming prosperous…"

"What is that, thaaththa?" Bindu wanted to know.

"We could ask the United States to invade us to get rid of terrorism in the North and then they will bomb the area and kill civilians, Prabhakaran will run away and then they will pour in aid to the country and we will live happily ever after…"

"But thaaththa, we are not in their 'axis of evil' that they talk about…" Bindu argued.
"We might be," Percy said, "after Satellite said that Bush was wrong in doing what he did but I'm not sure he even knows where our country is…"

"But, thaaththa" Bindu asked, "what are Satellite's own plans?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Why, thaaththa, they say the Greens want to have a referendum on the peace process…"

"What is wrong with that?" Percy queried.

"But the Blues say that only Satellite can call a referendum…"

"And even when she does, she changes her mind later and cancels it…" Percy observed.

"So, thaaththa, will we eventually have a referendum?" Bindu wanted to know.
"That's like asking whether one of our cricketers tried to smuggle hundreds of bats into the country…"

"Why do you say that?"
"There are rumours about something happening but no one really knows what is going on…" Percy noted.

"But our cricketers are surely an interesting lot…" Bindu said.
"Why do you say that?" Percy asked.

"Why, thaaththa, now they have to choose a new captain…" Bindu pointed out.
"I hope it won't be as difficult as selecting the President of the Cricket Board or the Chairman of Selectors…"

"Or as difficult as qualifying for the finals in Sharjah…" Bindu said.
"But I'm sure the public will be more interested in that than in the referendum the Greens are planning…" Percy said.

"But, thaaththa," Bindu said, "we must hope our cricketers have a better New Year this year…"

"I'm sure they will" Percy said, "though I'm not so sure about the rest of the country…"
"Why do you say that, thaaththa?" Bindu asked.

"That would depend on SARS…" Percy observed.
"Ah, yes," Bindu said, "but I thought they have taken all the precautions to prevent its spread in the country because it can be deadly…"

"It can indeed be deadly," Percy agreed, "but I thought some people wanted it here desperately…"

"What do you mean, thaaththa?" Bindu was puzzled.

"Bindu, it is not SARS the illness that I am worried about," Percy said, "it is the agreement between Satellite And the Red Sahodarayas…"

"Ah," Bindu agreed, "there is certainly no cure for that…"

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