Mirror Magazine

Mirror Magazine Techno page by Harendra Alwis

Something to make you ROTFL
By Aditha Dissanayake
I log onto the Net. There are three messages in my in-box. One is about the US stock market. The other gives me information on Learning the Truth about Male Enhancements. The last is about a Super Weekend Pill. The one I am looking for is not there.

I am disappointed. You have not replied. I have been waiting for a message from you for so long… There is so much I want to tell you, and hear from you… but you are not there. I miss reading your e-messages, especially because you never spice them with cyber endearments.

Consider the message I got yesterday from a guy I know only through the e-messages he sends me once in a blue moon. It goes like this “Hey, DYRM? WU? GTTYS. It’s TDW a MOTOS. Hey I see that VBG. But FYI we broke off 24 hours later cos the said MOTOS can’t stand PDA. I gave her a KOC and said ILY. She ROTFL. WTH does she think she is? That’s it. Are you SOMY? But TIA for listening. TAFN. GTG. SWAK.”

Sounds almost like another language doesn’t it? But translated, you will realize the guy is only saying, “Hey do you remember me? WU? (What’s up?) GTTYS (Got to tell you something). It’s TDW (to do with) a MOTOS (member of the opposite sex).

Hey I see that VBG (very big grin). But FYI (for your information) we broke off 24 hours later cos the said MOTOS can’t stand PDA (public display of affection). I gave her a KOC (kiss on cheek) and said ILY(I love you.) She ROTFL (rolled on the floor laughing). WHK (Who the heck) does she think she is? That’s it. Are you SOMY (sick of me yet)?

But TIA (thanks in advance) for listening. TAFN (That’s all for now). GTG (Got to go). SWAK (Sealed with a kiss). What I like most in your e-mails is the way you use emoticons (yes, that’s the word used to describe emotions in e-messages).

They sure gave me visual information about you, even though I had to read them with my head on one side. Remember how you used these signs :-) :-(to show you are happy and sad, this :- 0 to show surprise and this.- ) to say you are winking?

Have you realized how fast the @ sign is becoming popular? No one ever writes “at” anymore. E-messages have caught on fast with everybody. But what irks me about them is that they don’t convey any information about the sender. There is no face (as in a physical encounter), no voice (as in a telephone conversation), no handwriting (as in a letter) which might give me a clue about the writer.

I have made a mess of things sometimes by writing to girls thinking they are boys and vice versa. Bet this has happened to you too now and then. It’s difficult to know if Tharanga or Pubudu is a girl or a boy.

But sending an e-mail is sure easier than talking, sometimes, like when you want to tell your father something he may not particularly wish to hear. You can quarrel with your brother too, via e-mail but let me warn you, this may not give the same satisfaction as throwing a cushion at him.

Well, that’s it for now. I hope next time when I log onto the Net, there will be a message from you. And I hope, that when you check mail today, you will find this in your in-box. If you do, go on, open it…

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