Mirror Magazine

Mirror Magazine

Manly matters
Don’t ever ever send men to choose gifts for new-born babies. They still believe in the old wives tale of pink being for girls and blue being for boys and white being a safe colour when you don’t know the gender of the baby (??) stands true! John had bought a pink cot mattress for his cousin’s new-born baby girl and I naturally had to ask him why he chose pink. Pat came the usual answer about gender discriminatory colours.

He even went as far to say that it would prevent a mix up of gender roles at a future date. I said that I would rather have a kid of mine, especially a daughter, decked out in as many colours of the rainbow as possible, as and when required. The answer? “The poor kid wouldn’t know what to think of herself – oh let me see, I am angry, sad, no I’m happy, no I’m hungry, mad…” Do I need to say more about the limited scope of imagination that men are usually gifted with? After all, I’m sure any little kid, especially baby girls, would love to see multi-coloured baubles and a room full of colour rather than things that look as if they just came off a PINK cotton candy machine.

I’m sure some of you must be wondering whether I’m into male-bashing all the time – nope, it just happens that the male species constantly provide me with canon fodder in that department and who am I to say no to something that’s begging to be made fun of?

Not only should you never send them to buy baby gifts – you should never send them to buy groceries or anything for that matter unless you are in the vicinity to direct them to the proper supermarket aisle or shop. If you happen to be walking with a male and he is suddenly missing, chances are that he is stuck, gaping open-mouthed at the latest notebook PC (that is if you happen to be at a mall like MC) or if it’s in a supermarket, near the aisle where aftershaves are kept. Some males could even be found with befuddled amusement staring at the ladies toiletries. My mum sent my dad once to bring some coconuts and he turned up at home two hours later, (after visiting the supermarket which is just five minutes away from home) with soap powder, dried chillies, onions and lime but NO coconuts! His excuse? He couldn’t remember what she told him to bring so he assumed one of the items that he bought would come close to what was needed!

My friend T was telling me all about her hubby J the other day-how he loves to show that he is the man of the house and takes special pride in doing all the odd jobs around. While I was congratulating her on her choice of husband, the thought struck me how acceptance is always the key to happiness. Looking at T’s expression as she fondly related her hubby falling off the chair while attempting to drill some holes for the curtain poles and how she burst out laughing out of pure hysteria even though her heart was at bursting point out of fear for his safety, AND how he never complained of the pain then even though he was quite mad at her for laughing- I realised that I am in the presence of a real human being who was showing me the truth about married life without coating it in sugar. I always felt that the majority of females hide the bittersweet episodes just so that the others could see only the “assumed aura” of a so-called ‘perfect happy marriage’. Am I glad that there are those like T and J to keep the whole scene in perspective – God bless them….

Got any interesting tales of your own to share with moi? Just email me at notsoplainjane@gmail.com and let’s see what we can cook up together, mate!

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