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Will you wear a white ribbon?
Studies reveal that 60% of women in Sri Lanka suffer from domestic violence.
Oxfam in Sri Lanka has launched a 'Wear A White Ribbon!' campaign from November 25 to December 10, to mark 16 days of activism for the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women and Human Rights Day.

White Ribbon Day observed on November 25 was designated by the United Nations in 2000 as the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women (IDEVAW). White Ribbon Day is the largest effort by men across the world, working in partnership with women, to end violence against women.
The day relies on support from men and women and their organisations and from business, industry and government.

IDEVAW came about when in 1991, a group of Canadian men began a campaign to urge men to speak out against violence on women.
The group adopted the wearing of a white ribbon as a symbol of men's opposition to men's violence against women and promoted widespread community discussion about violence in personal relationships.

Wearing a white ribbon is a personal pledge that the wearer does not condone violence against women, and is committed to supporting community action to stop violence by men against women.
For the past two years Oxfam in Sri Lanka has been organising 16 days of activism to create public awareness in this regard.Oxfam's district offices in Vavuniya, Kilinochi, Trincomalee and Batticaloa will be carrying out various activities including discussions among government and the private sector, men's groups conducting awareness raising activities in the workplace and in the community, street dramas and a drama competition. There will also be marches and rallies and distribution of awareness materials.

In Colombo, white ribbons are being distributed free to the public with information on the issue at Cargills outlets at Pelawatte, Nugegoda, Staples Street and Mount Lavinia and also at Laufgs supermarkets on Havelock Rd and in Kohuwela.

WHAT MEN CAN DO
Listen to women...learn from women
In most countries, 50 to 100 per cent of women have experienced physical or sexual violence.

Violence against women includes psychological abuse or emotional abuse as well. Not all violence leaves visible scars. Emotional violence includes regular subjection to demeaning jokes, domineering forms of behaviour, and sexual harassment.

Some forms of violence have a greater physical or emotional impact than others. But all forms of violence contribute to very real fear and suffering.

The fear is greatest in women's own homes. A common myth is that most violence against women is committed by strangers. In fact, women are most at risk from men they know--husbands, boyfriends, fathers, relatives, employers, and care givers.

Why are some men violent?
Men are not naturally violent, it’s something that they learn. Men's violence is a result of the way many men learn to express their masculinity in relationships with women, children, and other men. In many violent incidents, men have been drinking alcohol. This might be because alcohol unleashes feelings, fears, rage, and insecurities that some men, cut off from their feelings, cannot handle.

But neither alcohol nor genes cause violence. Violence is a way of asserting power, privilege, and control.

Sexist language and jokes
Sexist jokes and language that degrade women reflect a society that has historically placed women in a second-class position. By reflecting this reality they once again put women "in their place" even if that isn't the intention.

Sexual harassment refers to unwanted sexual advances or sexually-oriented remarks or behaviour that are unwelcome by another person. Harassment is ultimately about inequalities of power.

One of the most difficult things for men is to learn to challenge other men. To challenge sexist language. To challenge men who talk lightly of violence against women. And to challenge men who engage in violence.

Sexual harassment
Sexual harassment refers to unwanted sexual remarks or behaviour that are unwelcome by another person. Harassment is ultimately about inequalities of power. The same action done by a woman might not bother a man because, in general, society has not given women power over men.

If you've ever been physically violent to a woman then you have been part of the problem. And if your violent behaviour has any chance of continuing, then you urgently need to get help getting to the root of your problem. Don't wait until it happens again. Act today.

How do men control women?
Many men will never be physically or sexually violent. But they might try to control women by dominating conversations, putting them down and limiting their activities. Whether or not you've ever been violent, all men must take responsibility for ending all forms of violence.

Work towards long-term solutions.
Ending violence against women won't happen overnight. Real solutions are truly long-term solutions. Legal changes to combat violence against women are very important. Attitudes and behaviour too have to be changed. Institutions which perpetuate inequality between women and men should be challenged.

Men can do better by getting rid of their suits of armour, that is, attitudes which equate masculinity with the power to control. Men should also be involved as caregivers and nurturers of the young.

Changes in attitude, behaviour, and institutions take time. And so we must look at how we raise future generations. We must teach our children, by example, that all forms of violence are unacceptable, and that for boys to become men, they do not need to control or dominate women, men, or children.

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