5th Column

Fluctuating fortunes: Grin and bear till the seventeenth
My Dear Mahinda Maama,
I thought I must write to you again, especially after hearing that you had personally written to almost everybody in the country inviting them to a meal at your Araliya Restaurant, even though these newspapers make nasty comments about that.

I was just a little disturbed, Mahinda maama to see that some people who generally follow the 'waasi peththata hoiya' principle announce that they are supporting Uncle Ranil ('Ranil Maama' doesn't sound quite right, does it?).

The first to go was of course the Thondamans and Hakeems but then we saw the Cricket Board chap switching camps and being appointed the Green organizer for Anuradhapura, for good measure. I am not sure whether he will build a stadium there as well, but it seemed just a little odd that the chap didn't think that you were the odds on favourite, especially after being in the business for so long!

Then came that little brat in Thonda's Congress who held on to his portfolio for some time after Arumugam and the others quit. No one quite knows why he didn't quit earlier but whatever the reason, he too doesn't think you are a good bet either.

Next we heard the venerable hamuduruwo explaining why he chose to support Uncle Ranil instead of you and that was quite a shock, Mahinda Maama. Here you are saying you will save Buddhism and the Sinhalese and make Uncle Velu and the Tigers run with their tails between their legs and here is this hamuduruwo saying he doesn't believe a word of it but wants to side with Uncle Ranil who is going around saying something about an 'eksath' Sri Lanka!

And finally, just when we thought we have heard it all there is Wickramabahu sahodaraya saying that Uncle Ranil had already won the race because you were being helped by the rathu sahodarayas and that this was putting off people who would have otherwise voted for you.

Of course there is good old Satellite and her Mallo who can always be trusted to get on stage and say the wrong thing. Tell me, Mahinda maama why don't you just send Mallo on a cruise somewhere for the next three weeks - he is after all, the Foreign Minister -and ask Satellite to mind her own business instead of speaking her mind?

All this must be bad enough without having to follow the dictates of the BMW campaign - Basil, Mangala and Wimal - but then, you must just grin and bear it for the next eighteen days - even though we are seeing less of your grin these days especially when it is covered by that bullet proof glass that you carry around everywhere with you.

And as if that was not enough, we hear that Satellite invited Uncle Ranil for a little chat at her place. Tell me, Mahinda maama, when was the last time she invited you for a cosy little gossip? After all, the two of you are from the same party, aren't you?

I suppose, all that matters is victory on the seventeenth and you must be wishing it was all over by now. Let's all wait and see but while you are at it, just spare us the long pauses and the meaningless catchphrases - like 'gauravaneeya saamayak', whatever that means - when you speak, will you?

Yours truly,
Punchi Putha
PS-Mahinda maama, Wimal sahodaraya is always criticising Uncle Ranil for not knowing about Parakramabahu, Pasdun rata, the dharma sanghranayas and Pandukhabaya. If Uncle Ranil is such a poor student, why don't you go ahead and take up his challenge for a live debate? That will surely tell us who the smarter candidate is - though I suspect most of us know who it is already!!

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