This Was PARAMI

Colleagues in the Army and friends recollect a lovable character, respected by both officers and men

By Hiranthi Fernando

An honest, upright officer and perfect gentleman is how one could best describe Parami Kulatunge, clichéd though it is. Above all, he was a caring human being, who was much loved by all who came within his sphere. He was so much a livewire, his death comes as an unbelievable shock.

His tragic assassination by a suicide bomber last Monday deeply saddened people from all walks of life. As he lay in a casket at his brother’s home, it became evident how much; people came in their numbers to pay their last respects.

Born and bred in Kandy, Parami was educated at Trinity College. The youngest in a close-knit family, he has a brother and two sisters. Having joined the Army in 1971, he was commissioned as a Second Lieutenant in 1972. Posthumously promoted Lieutenant General, Parami, who held the post of Deputy Chief of Staff of the Sri Lanka Army, served in many positions during his long and distinguished career as a professional soldier. He served long spells in operational areas in the North and the East and participated in many major operations. He was also the recipient of several medals for gallantry in various operations.

“I first met Parami when he together with a group of young aspirants, was at the Panagoda Cantonment for his Officer Quality Tests,” recalled General (Ret.) Srilal Weerasooriya, a former Commander of the Army and currently Sri Lanka’s High Commissioner to Pakistan. “He passed out second in the order of merit in his batch and on being commissioned was posted to the 1st Battalion of the Gemunu Watch in Diyatalawa. He excelled as a young officer and caught the eye of the late General Tissa (Bull) Weeratunga, who, when taking over command of the Army made him his first Aide-de camp. Parami true to his nature, remained as the General’s ADC for life.”

“Para as fondly known to us has been a part of our family for many years,” said Annouchka, General Weeratunga’s daughter. “We were fortunate to meet him during the early stages of his army career. Para was with Thatha during the many times he served in the North. Between the two of them they made so many friends no matter what race or religion they were. As ADC, he planned out Thatha’s schedules to perfection. There was never a time that everything didn’t go like clock-work. He not only was a part of all this but very involved with the rest of the family too.

“Time passed and our lives moved on, but Para never stopped visiting my parents’ home and joining us for all important family events. He always kept in touch and always appreciated Thatha for what he was to him. The true sincere love that Para had for our family became evident when Thatha was diagnosed with cancer. Para shared this pain and sadness we were experiencing. He took care of Thatha like a son would do for a father; he did not hesitate to openly show his love and concern.”

It was during his service as ADC to Gen. Weeratunga, that this writer first met Parami. Our friendship grew over the years and he became very much a part of our family too. No function was complete without him. He was a wonderful friend not only to us but just as much to our son and daughter-in-law and also our little four year old grand-daughter, who loved ‘Uncle Parami’(pictured here with her). He leaves a void in many lives.

Parami was popular with most of his senior officers as well as his subordinates. “Although I have known Parami from the time he was a 2nd Lieutenant, it was during my tenure as GOC 54 Division (Elephant Pass) in 1997/98 that I became closely associated with him,” said Major General (Retd) Lohan Goonewardene, a former Chief-of-Staff of the Army. “As my Deputy GOC, I found him to be a solid and competent officer. He relieved me from all routine administration of the Division, thus enabling me to be free to plan and execute operational plans. He was with me during the difficult days at Elephant Pass, advising and giving me all the encouragement and support to take the correct decisions. He was more a friend than a deputy, and he was close to my family.”

“His organisational capabilities are well known in the Army. He attended to every minute detail and never took a chance. He was a man of principles and high moral values. He also practised his religion. He was warm-hearted and genuine in his feelings for others. A lovable character, he was respected by both officers and men since they had confidence in him.”

“Parami and I were buddies during our officer-cadet days,” said Major General Nanda Mallawarachchi, Chief of Staff of the Sri Lanka Army. “We developed a very close relationship. My two children are still crying. After the Commander’s illness, Parami carried most of my workload. It is a great loss for the country and for myself and my family.”

Maj. Gen. Mallawarachchi related how at the funeral he met a Buddhist monk who was in tears. “He told me that Parami had looked after him for three weeks when he was suffering from chicken pox.”

Over the years, Parami attended several training courses, as well as seminars, locally as well as abroad. A one year course at the prestigious US Army War College was the last of the training courses. Many touching tributes have been sent by his colleagues at the War College.

The many friends he had in the diplomatic community were deeply shocked and saddened by his tragic death. “He was a gentle giant,” commented Amandeep Singh Gill, Counsellor, Political, of the Indian High Commission. “He had an amazing way with children. Our kids would gravitate to him as if by magic. He was a professional soldier, but there was no hint of narrow-mindedness in him. He knew the importance of peace as much as he realised the importance of defending Sri Lanka’s unity and integrity.”

“Despite his senior rank he was a man without pretensions,” said Rachel Bedlington, Acting High Commissioner for Canada. “He was a decent, kind and generous man, fair in his views and a true gentleman. It is a great loss to the country and also to his family.”

“He was a friend,” said Colonel Colin Martin, Defence Attache of the British High Commission. “I knew him first when he was Director General, General Staff in 2004. We were working on the UN Peace Keeping training project. He is a real officer and gentleman; an absolutely charming man, extremely kind and generous. He enjoyed the humorous things. He was a very professional soldier, who always had his subordinates in mind. I last met him at the Queen’s Birthday celebrations, where we had a jovial time. We didn’t meet very often as he was senior in rank and worked at a different level, but when we did meet he was always hospitable and kind. We became good friends.”

Apart from his professional duties, Parami involved himself in several projects to help the needy. He was very committed to whatever he undertook to do. After the tsunami, he collected money from his friends and relatives to build some houses in Amparai, which were handed over recently.

A pet project of his was a village the army was helping to rehabilitate in Ella Kantalai, while he was stationed in Trincomalee. There too, he used his personal contacts to obtain contributions to help uplift the lives of the villagers. A pre-school was established, the children were given school uniforms, books and other needs through contributions collected.

He was thrilled with the progress of the kids in the school. A sewing class was conducted for the mothers. The villagers were helped to set themselves up in self-employment.

When he was stationed at Chavakachcheri, I recall how deeply concerned he was for the people there, whose houses had been destroyed when the town was hit by bombing. He and his soldiers helped many of them to recover their items of gold jewellery from the ruins.

Being firmly committed to what is right, Parami often ruffled some feathers by speaking his mind when he felt something was wrong.

Without thinking of how it would affect him personally, he always tried to stand up for what was right. As a relatively junior officer, he even had the courage to disagree with Lalith Athulathmudali, who was then Minister of National Security.

Speaking of Parami, Gamini Wijesinghe quotes, on the lines of Shakespeare:

“He was among the noblest of them,
He did what he had to do,
In general, honest thought,
And common good to all.
And the elements,
So mix’d in him that,
Nature might stand up,
And say to all the world,
This was a man!”