Mirror Magazine - Why so shy?

You walk into a room full of people and the first thought that crosses your mind is to run back out. The guy you’ve been pining over for the last seven months finally comes upto you and says a casual ‘hi,’ and you can manage only a weak squeak back.

You drum up all your courage and decide to get on stage for the dance audition you’ve been dreaming of, only to freeze while still in the wings. Basically, any situation that requires you to communicate with the outside world, makes you want to crawl up and die…

Being shy is a common trait among human beings, and though it could have an impact on you at any stage between your childhood and adult life, young people are probably affected the most. With life’s pace getting faster with every passing moment, and image being a key ‘impressing’ ingredient in being successful in whatever you do, being shy could be quite an obstacle.

At some point in their lives everyone could have little bouts of shyness due to various circumstances, but being a ‘shy person’ by nature could cause difficulties during day-to-day activities and relationships. Some of the most common situations which could make a young person feel shy might be joining a new school, a performance or speech, or when meeting new people. Research shows that most shy people tend to spend more time on computers, preferring to avoid human contact, avoid or cancel out on social events, have fewer friends and have low self-esteem.

According to Nilushi (20) who is studying abroad at the moment, it is possible for an outgoing kid to eventually become shy as a young adult. “I’m a perfect example of this. While in school, I was a very active and outgoing kid, and I didn’t think twice about getting up on stage in front of the entire school and talking. But now being abroad and in another territory, has affected my confidence levels. For instance, the fact that most people don’t understand my accent makes me reluctant to speak, unless it’s necessary.” She added that becoming shy could depend on circumstances, change of place and one’s emotional situation.

Minari (23) feels that some young people use shyness for their own benefit. “Being shy in my eyes is a mechanism used by some of us to make our lives easier. Young people sometimes may feel that being shy and not voicing your opinion might help them get on with people, avoid confrontation and fit in.”

So how do you get over shyness and be yourself? Stepping out of your comfort zone and taking that all-important step towards bringing out your potential without any inhibitions, is easier said than done, but definitely not impossible.

For Ravin (22), shyness is a complete waste of young energy. “People tend to walk all over you when you’re shy and you don’t let yourself be heard. You could also miss out on things you have always wanted to do as well.” He feels that young people should not let shyness get to them. “Life is too short to miss out on the things you want to do. You’re young just once, and it’s a waste if you let shyness be an obstacle to living your life to the fullest.”

If you have a shy personality there’s no need to force yourself to be someone you’re not, but if it’s interfering with your personal growth or success, there are numerous ways to change things. Expressing your feelings and thoughts clearly to others and understanding that you can be only yourself, is most important, and you will eventually come out of your shell.

Though it would take time, effort and practice, if you follow these tips, you’ll find that you are less shy and more confident in all kinds of situations. Becoming a good conversationalist is the first step towards getting over shyness. There are two ways you can do this, either by becoming involved in a wide variety of activities and interests so you’ll always have something to talk about, or prepare yourself for conversations. Brush up on current events before any kind of gathering, and think about the activities your friends, family and colleagues have planned before you meet them, so you’ll have questions to ask them. Before you leave the house, have a few topics of conversation in mind so you’ll be ready to talk to anyone you meet.

Telling people you’re shy is another step you can take to get over shyness. Many shy people tend to avoid making eye contact and talking to people, so they sometimes get labelled as snobby and reserved. If you tell people you’re shy, they’ll understand why you seem so nervous when talking to them. Most people appreciate honesty and will feel flattered that you trust them enough to share this private information. Naturally, you wouldn’t share this if you don’t trust the person.

Getting over shyness is a process. It won’t happen overnight. You have to stick with it, if you expect to overcome it. And when you do, I’m telling you… the world is yours!